Departures

I had an astonishing experience the other day.  On a whim I went to see a Japanese movie which won the Oscar for best foreign film earlier this year.  Entitled "Departures", it was a huge hit in Japan and I remembered only that it was the story of a young cellist whose orchestra disbands, forcing him to accept a highly stigmatized job.  So you get the connection even before I begin.  Being an abortion provider is also a stigmatized job.

Daigo, the ex-cellist in the movie, accepts a position preparing the dead for the undertaker.  In Japan, this work is done with the family in attendance watching their parent, child, or sibling being prepared for cremation.  Daigo's boss and mentor knew instantly that Diago would carry on the tradition of providing a loving, respectful honoring of the life that just ended.  Watching, I felt like my work assisting during abortion procedures was much the same as Daigo's.  I can't recall ever having these same feelings while watching a movie!

As a long-time abortion provider, I have so many thousands of times had the same experience of wanting to do all I could to respect the wishes of the woman yet honor the life within her.  Often it is possible to do both simultaneously since she might tell me how she loves her baby and longs to continue the pregnancy if only her circumstances were different. Women want my reassurance that I understand and will do as she requests.  I promise her and/or her partner that we always treat the pregnancies with respect, and agree to perform a baptism if asked.  Knowing that our clinic has that commitment to honor both lives allows me to love my job and how we offer our abortions.

Daigo, to his surprise, comes to love his work too.  Even when the townspeople taunt him and his new wife leaves him because of the shame of his work, he cannot stop.  Of course, this being a movie, his wife returns and is able to join with him honoring a deceased person who was important to her.  The cultural differences abound but the feelings are the same.  Those who have a calling for the work of attending to end of life processes will find it: think of hospice workers. 

I suspect that Dr Tiller would have loved this movie had he lived to see it.  This same respect for the passing of life moved him and kept him performing abortions despite the personal risks.  Transporting the intentionality to another culture through this young man, the cellist, will resonate with anyone who can find this movie in a theatre, online or via Netflix. If you do check it out, please post your thoughts here.

Lu

Comments

[Дизайн листовки]

Regarding the disrespected woman, it is not disrespectful to inform her that one doesn't baptize dead babies.

[широкоформатная печать]

I sent operationcounterstrike my address and changed his name to operationimpotence weeks ago, and stopped hearing from him

[bonnie moss-rhodes]

Dr. Tiller had respect for the developing life his patient the woman was carrying. He simply had more respect and concern for the woman her health and her life.

My official title at the clinic was Guest services Liason. I worked nights with the late term patients making sure their needs were met along with their familiesa and friends that came to support them.

Most of the patients I worked with were carrying much pregnancys. Many had gone through years of attempts to become pregnant. Others had born and cared for a child that had subcumed to a genetic disease. none of these patients had made a quick decision to terminate with no thought.

Funerals and the baptizing of babies is for the parents. Not all patients choose to do either or both. Some parents just choose to have time quietly with their family to grieve and say goodbye.

When my twenty three year old son was killed we had a christian funeral though neither I nor him were christian. My mom is and it seemed at the time she neded it to help ease her heart a bit.

s someone said different cultures and different religions have different practices about death in general and the rites surrounding it.

If I remember right from my childhood indoctrination there are those who think catholics are doing the devils work when they baptize infants and catholics who think a infant that dies unbaptized will go to limbo and not paradise if they don't.

My boss, the Good Doctor, let the woman and her family decide and lead the way. In any case the stress was placed on honoring their loss and grief and respecting their decisions. When it came to my boss and his patients respect and compassion was the rule.

[mm]

"I'm not sure what hospitals offer parents of stillborn children, but I'd be surprised if it didn't involve baptism."

I'm a labor and delivery nurse and whenever possible (which is almost always) our hospital offers whatever a patient desires in the way of religious practices. It is up to the patient and it is a question that every single patient admitted to the hospital is asked. It's about doing what the patient desires and what comforts them, not arguing religious dogma or anything else during a stillbirth.

[Визитки]

I sent operationcounterstrike my address and changed his name to operationimpotence weeks ago, and stopped hearing from him.

[marie]

its true, you cant baptize a dead baby, but thats ok, the murdered receive a "baptism in blood" so they are covered.

[Cold North Wind]

Oh good grief- there is no room for the wishes of others or respect for others- in some people's minds-is there ? I just read a bunch of the comments. (and I used the term minds- lightly-snark snark)How does it go ? . .walk a mile in their shoes . . .

Your approach attitude to this job - is absolutely admirable.Bravo.

[OperationCounterstrike]

John Dunkle, you mean you stopped hearing from him FOR NOW.

[John Dunkle]

Pandora, Diatryma, I sent operationcounterstrike my address and changed his name to operationimpotence weeks ago, and stopped hearing from him. I think I hit the nail on the head. skyp1.blogspot.com

[Pandora]

Operation Counterstrike,

You want my home address? You don't know it, do you?

My weapons are probably bigger than whatever pathetic peashooter, if any, you could manage to fire.

[Diatryma]

Operation Counterstrike, you make my side look bad. Chill, please.

And of course, baptizing a dead baby basically depends who's doing the baptism. Mormons baptize dead people regularly, and occasionally against their known wishes. I'm not sure what hospitals offer parents of stillborn children, but I'd be surprised if it didn't involve baptism.

[OperationCounterstrike]

Pandora, you are a murderess.

Please post your home address so I can come commit justifiable homicide (NOT murder) upon you.

[Pandora]

What respect did Tiller the Killer ever show for the passing of life? He made it his life's work to destroy life.

Regarding the disrespected woman, it is not disrespectful to inform her that one doesn't baptize dead babies.

[Julie]

Sooo, Teri, you would prefer the woman be disrespected?

[Teri]

are you kidding me? The guy in the movie prepares dead people...you make assist in killing people.No comparision.

And you cannot baptize a dead baby...
too bad you do not respect life as much while it is alive in the womb as when it is dead.