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Wednesday, June 04, 2008



I aborted a baby because I couldnt know if the cocaine or heavy alchol would affect it. had I known I could have waited until the second trimester to test for certain things and if they were there I could have abortee, I would have had my child. I didnt know and I didnt want my decisions to affect someone for their entire life...sad the way things go..


When I was 21 I was pregnant and I did a lot of cocaine and heavy drinking at the time, I think in part due to the fact that I had an abortion at 18 and deeply regreted it. Even though I regret that abortion, I did not have any other resources. And that is the problem. Women dont have abortions for fun but out of the neccesity. I was 18, living on my own since 17 a prostitute at the time with no family no car no money and scared every day. A lot of days I worried about how I would pay for food and then I found out I was pregnant. I thought about going home, to my drug addicted father and bi polar mother but that was not a viable option for me. Since I was 17 at the time and still a runaway I was scared if I went anywhere for help they would turn me in, and I simply couldnt go home. So at 21 I was married, a stripper with alot of problems. Me and my husband were on again off again and I was dancing for three years, since the day I turned 18 and didnt have to prostitute. I have been through alot in my life. I know have a normal life, with an almost two year old daughter and my ownb business. It took alot to get to this point, including abortions. To be honsest, there is not a day that goes by when I dont think about those babies and I have grieved in every sense of the word. It has been hard, very hard. I never had an abortion for fun, I had am abortion because I had no other options., because if they were out spending their time making resources available to women that were in situations like mine they simply wouldnt have to time to be on soap boxes or revivals with shirts on. Women like animals leave their children behinmd because they do not have the ways and means to care for them. If we could work to make resources available that would really be


I just wanted to add that continuing to limit the availability of second trimester abortions also means that women who have had fetal loss or a fetal demise have difficulty scheduling a D&E in a timely manner. Since it is essentially the same procedure those few that can perform it are very busy. There also appears to be a stigma to the procedure because only certain hospitals "have the capability" to perform it. Yet I am not sure this is totally true because if a woman comes in miscarrying they would have to perform the same kind of surgery. Whatever the issue is I don't feel trusted as a woman who's had a loss.


As someone who was on some VERY serious medication, and is still on meds that could affect a baby, I feel for people in this situation. I personally at this time have no problem with having an abortion, but I do recognize that if I were to become pregnant, my thoughts could change instantly. I really especially feel for the lady whose doctor told her "No way you'll have a normal kid". I had a psychiatrist who, at every appointment, would remind me "You're using BC, right? You're not going to get pregnant right now, right?" While also telling me I may never get off my medications :S

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