Med-Phobic

I think I have talked before about patients who, for some reason or other--usually an experience of trauma-- are extremely anxious about medical encounters. Since I am like that myself a little, and have been having a few medical encounters lately, I am especially attuned to it. Actually, much of what I see in counseling women is as a result of sexual abuse, so I think it is much less about medical stuff, than being touched in ways that one cannot predict or control. ** One simple thing, if you are a medical professional--in any field-- is to explain everything in detail, and then ASK PERMISSION to touch or start the procedure. It's such a small thing, but is huge for this type of person.**

Anyway, I was talking to a woman yesterday who was more than a bit anxious about the procedure. She acknowledged that she had a hard time getting a pelvic exam, but that she was "brave" and tolerated it OK in the end. I asked her if she traced her discomfort to a particular experience and she thought for a second and looked down, and said, "yes, I think I know." I didn't press her, but my impression was that there was some sexual abuse or rape in her history. But then, we went on to talk about the relief that happens when the procedure or exam is over. I had never asked this before, but I said, "Do you find that you kind of 're-live' the visit later?" She said, "Oh yes, sometimes I even have nightmares."

So, we started a very mutual, free flowing discussion about how to take those scary unpleasant memories and feelings and find some way of noticing them and releasing them. We even talked about lighting a candle, and saying, "I'm safe now and I was very brave, and I'm glad it's over." or something like that. (If it weren't a gyn related thing I would have suggested a bath, but that's a no no thing post surgery.) Anyway, we both enjoyed exploring this issue together. I know she never really talked about it with someone who got it so quickly and easily. It was one of those sessions that I felt was really authentic on both our parts and made me happy all day.
--Bon

Comments

[DP]

Off topic, but http://www.feministe.us/blog/archives/2007/06/13/murio-por-ser-pobre-y-por-ser-mujer/

Martha Solay, a woman with uterine cancer, died today. She was denied an abortion under Columbian law even though that meant delaying treatment for her cancer until it was no longer curable. She leaves four children and a fund has been set up to help care for the children. Not that that can make up for the trauma caused by losing their mother, but at least they can have a place to live and not be out on the street. Any "pro-lifers" interested in donating or are you just happy that she's dead through your actions and so you have no interest in helping her children?

[peyton]

This is really strange for me to write...but i am EXTREMELY IATRAPHOBIC. I get sick everytime i go to the Doctors office. I know the fear started when i was younger and my first doctor ever would spend 2 mins of the appointment checking my body and an hour of the appointment checking my vagina. I have been scared ever since. I have an intense fear of a doctor touching me down there. Since i have switched doctors, my new doctor does not examin down there at all. Even though he has never done it before..i still panic whenever i go because i remeber my bad experiences. I would like to know if it is a normal thing that my doctor does not examine my private parts. And i was also wondering if anyone knew how i could overcome my intense iatraphobia (fear of doctors).

[Laura]

I have a personal story on this topic myself.

I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and of rape, twice; at the age of 15 and at the age of 19……I have gone thro years of counseling, so I thought I had fully recovered…

I am now 26 years old and I have chosen to terminate my pregnancy.....A couple days ago I went to the hospital in my area that performs abortions.....Upon getting there and having he procedure explained to me.....I freaked out at the thought of being in a twilight sleep.......Feeling as if i did not fully know what was going on due to the twilight sleep and having a doctor in between my legs performing the procedure.

During this pregnancy i have felt totally vulnerable and the thought of being in that position made me feel EVEN MORE vulnerable.........So at the last minute i left the room , right before they were going to give me the IV sedation……I became so incredibly scared !!

This is my choice to terminate this pregnancy, if anyone out there has some advice so I can get over my phobia, it would be greatly appreciated.

[Julie]

Whoops. A little failure to communicate, Vianne. I was directing my comment at Jacqueline. Should have put her name at the top 'cause it can get a little confusing at times.

[Vianne]

I've already backed them up. She's never posted anything here that isn't freely available to the public, she's made several contradictory statements, her attitude and words are not those of a counsellor, and a few phonecalls and an official background check prove me right.

Take the information and do it yourself if you don't believe me.

I've already got a phone call in to the University of Texas and I've alerted them to the fact that someone is using the credentials of people who've received degrees in their programs in order to create a false identity and lure unsuspecting and perhaps underage girls into her confidence.

[Julie]

You don't need to lie? Then I wonder why you have so far failed to back up the accusations you have made. I'm still waiting for you to confirm with sources. Um, maybe you were just guessing? Admit it, then. Tsk.

[Vianne]

Jacqueline, I rad a background check on you.

It ain't your resume.

All you do is lie.

You are a fraud and a liar and if you continue to present yourself as something you are not, you're going to find yourself in some serious trouble.

I'm not attacking you. I'm letting people know that you are not who or what you say you are, and you're endangering any young woman who believes you and goes to you for advice. What you are doing is criminal, and I fully intend to follow up on this through the proper channels.

[Jacqueline]

Vianne-

That's my resume. I have no need to lie. I don't need to prove myself to strangers on the internet but check the tax status of those organizations. Freaking google them for crying out loud! Check with the universities. In fact:

http://www.theshorthorn.com/archive/2005/spring/grad/g-socwrk.html

There's my Masters. The rest aren't worth the effort to prove to you.

Tis a shame that you have to try to attack me rather than present any merits of your case.

[Vianne]

Jacqueline was already outed for cutting and pasting credentials from someone else's online resume, so I do indeed think we know who the real quack here is...

[Jennifer]

I have never been sexually assualted or abused.

However, I have an intense fear of all types of doctors. I avoid them like the plague, and the only preventative care I do receive is my annual. Nevermind that I am in my 20's and have been seeing the GYN since I was 18. Fortunately I have an especially indulgent OB-GYN who walks me through the entire exam, and always asks permission before touching me or performing a test. If I say "no", and have a reasonable explanation for doing so, other than it is not comfortable or I don't like it, he respects my wishes. Otherwise, he explains again why it is necessary.

Bless the patient healthcare providers.

[anon]

Just having someone acknowledge that the fear is real, and should be acknowledged and comforted, is helpful. I would probably roll my eyes at the suggesion of 'going home and lighting a candle,' but at the same time be happy the practitioner would acknolwedge that the procedure was difficult and painful on physical and emotional levels.

I've left gyno's offices crying on far too many occasions.

Yes, there's bad practitioners at Planned Parenthood. There's also bad ones at the highest-paid private clinics, too. Don't dismiss an entire organization just because of a few bad encounters.

[P]

I think your experiences with those that have worked at PP are horrible, but I urge you not to blame the entire organization for the faults of 3 people/experiences. Not everyone in every profession is professional and those that are not are terminated almost always when the problem is surfaced.

You cannot generalize PP for the faults of 3.

[Julie]

My, my Jacqueline, I sense a lot of anger radiating from you. Not only that, you make yet another bold assertation, quote "abortion clinics don't hire credential counselors...they hire abortion salespeople." unquote. The implication is you are somehow comparing abortion clinics to something else, and then deciding they fall short before any evidence is in.

The healing from something as traumatic as rape or sexual abuse can't be accomplished in one fell swoop, it takes small steps. Such as lighting a candle and chanting, or taking a soothing bath. Sometimes, the healing will NEVER be complete.

Unless you have unimpeachable evidence, flat out claiming Bon and Lou have NO credentials - or even suggesting they are "quacks" - is skating close to the edge of libel my dear one.

[Lauren]

Ok, so this isn't directed at bon because I have no idea how you do your exams.
c
This is directed at the misinformation that planned parenthood are magical goddesses of ob love. I have had three seperate incounters w/ PP and every one has been utterly humiliating.

The first was my very first exam at 14 for a yeast infection. I was a virgin, and very obviously scarred and 14 for crying out loud, yet the examiner(who knows if she was a doctor) was rude to the point of humiliation.

She did NOT explain diddly squat, and would NOT accept my claim that I was a virgin. "You don't look like a virgin" were her exact words.

Feel the compassion.

A few years later I went to PP for the morning after pill. Aside from being the most regretted decision of my life, it was also one of the most horrific.

The counselor lectured me the entire consultation (yet failed to talk to me at all about abstaining from sex or *gasp* asking me if the sex was consentual(it was). After that, she gave me the pills and told me to take them at the same time. This is an off lable use, which caused my body a substantial amount of harm, but this did not seem to concern PP at all.

Finally, when I became pregnant w/ a much wanted child, I called PP for prenatal care. I didnt know where else to start, and although my experince had been traumatic, PP was known as "the place" for all things reproductive. This was a different location than the gyn visit from hell and plan B. I was asked repeatedly if I wished to abort the "pregnancy". I assured her that this was not the case. She informed me, qutie rudely, that they could only help me if I wished to terminate.

I got the message loud and clear that PP cared little about the "parenthood" section of it's name.

I know this is all anicdotal evidence, but I can not, in good conscience, read PP praises and not respond.

[shrimplate]

Respect for personal space is so important.

As a hospital nurse, I even "ask permission" before I auscultate lung and belly sounds with my stethoscope. People seem to appreciate this, and it's something I try to pass along to the student nurses I work with.

[SarahS]

Bon-

Wow, you can clearly tell who here knows nothing about what they are talking about. I think what you do is amazing and worthy of praise and thanks. No shit, an abortion clinic is not the place to heal from rape, molestation, incest, etc. But when caring counselors like you actually VALIDATE, aknowledge, and make some kind of attempt to ease women's real fears and concerns, you help that woman understand that help is out there. You may not cure the levels of shame, guilt, and fear, but you might penetrate it just enough so that your patients can find the strength to call a counselor, support group, or hotline that can help them really begin to heal. Sometimes one caring person is what a survivor needs to start to believe in themselves. Gods bless you and all you do.

[Cinnamon]

It was during another stressful but routine gyn visit with a Planned Parenthood clinic at the age of 30 that I first had a doctor tell me "I'm going to explain to you everything I'm going to do, then I'm going to ask your permission and only after you give it to me will I proceed with the next step." As I lay on the table while this woman gave me an exam I realized how grateful I was to her, but didn't know why. As the exam was winding down, I mentioned that she was the first person to have done this and I wasn't sure why, but it made me feel so much more relaxed and in control. She had wheeled away and had her back to me and as I said this she turned around and looked me in the eye. "Women often feel powerless in this situation, especially women who have been abused. It's our policy to always ask permission before beginning steps in a procedure that may be triggering."

This was all she said. Nothing directed at me, just a general "this is why" statement. Because of that statement, and the thoughts that it inspired, I finally began to admit my abuse to myself and sought out help from a therapist. I've been so much happier since then. So while that woman may be a "baby-killer" in the eyes of many commenters here, she saved a large part of my soul that day that I didn't even know I had and I will be forever grateful to her. In the same what that this woman will likely be grateful to you, Bon.

[Jacqueline]

Anon-

So great- Let's slap a bandaid on a spurting artery!

The fear of going to the doctors stems from the trauma of rape which is evidently not healed. They need real healing, not a candle and a quack.

[Scott Hughes]

Most of us are uncomfortable towards medical procedures. It must be really hard for women like that.

[anon]

I think Bon was talking about lighting the candle and reafirming that the woman had done a good, brave thing in CONQUERING HER FEAR OF DOCTORS TO GO TO A GYN APOINTMENT. NOT as a healing for the rape/molestation. My therapist (trained, creditialed, letters after her name, etc.) tells me to do similiar things after I confront my phobia.

[Jacqueline]

Julie-

I absolutely am! Just look at her advice to a woman suffering the aftermath of sexual trauma:

We even talked about lighting a candle, and saying, "I'm safe now and I was very brave, and I'm glad it's over." or something like that.

Lighting a candle and chanting someone, anything? Yep! That heals women from rape and molestation! Are you effing kidding me? This does not indicate that Lou and Bon possess any formal education in counseling.

Furthermore, abortion clinics don't hire credentialed counselors as a general rule. They hire abortion salespeople. They have no interest in real counseling and paying a real counselor. The closest I've seen is a Planned Parenthood with a clergywoman that handed out rocks in the waiting room. My friend has a B.A. in psychology and worked at the abortion clinic. Once again, that's not trained counselor. People come into abortion clinics twice- to kill their children and to follow-up. Not a lot of counseling can be done in that environment, especially not with issues like rape/abuse. There's also no indication in this post that they even refer appropriately.

Yes, I'm suggesting that these women lack the credentials to really counsel anyone. Just look at the advice they give. Suggesting a bath will fix years of molestation? You can't seriously stand up for this sort of bs, can you?

[Julie]

WHAT! Those are some serious allegations there Jaqueline. Are you seriously suggesting Bon has no credentials/experience as a bona fide counselor?

[Diatryma]

I would have liked to talk to someone after my last gyno appointment-- it was my first time with a male doctor, and I didn't realize that it's clinic policy to always have a female nurse in the room with the male doctors. Mine wore an elementary school dress, a cross, and used the kind of euphemisms I really had to think about to figure out what she meant.
It's the only time a gyno appointment has hurt, and it was because I thought she was judging me. Good girls are afraid of male doctors, right? Good girls don't just open their knees. So I didn't relax.
I don't mind male doctors poking at the girly bits, as long as they talk. I kinda figure that he's sitting down, pretty much still, and speculum or no speculum I could probably break his nose if I tried. I feel really bad that I reacted like that to the well-meaning woman, and worse that she probably thought I was freaked out by the Y chromosome at the end of the exam table.

And you know what? Telling other people helps. It's not an unreasonable reaction, and putting it in words makes it more reasonable. Maybe between now and next time, I'll figure out a polite, nonwhorish way to explain that I trust doctors as a group.

[JacqueFromTexas]

Once again, another example of you pretending to help, patting yourself on the back, bragging about what fabulous people you are, all while doing damage to those that trust you.

If these women are victims of sexual abuse, rape or other trauma, they need a real counselor. Someone with an education and license in counseling, not someone paid to sell an abortion. An LPC, LMSW, an LMFT, a psychologist or a psychiatrist would be the right person to help these women not an abortion clinic "counselor" with no credentials who likes to talk fluff that sounds nice. Even emotionally healthy women have been known to suffer PTSD from abortions so you're not helping anyone, but most likely making things worse.

Furthermore, do you offer these women the option to report the crimes against them? What help do you offer them to avoid becoming victims again in the future? Guess what? "Lighting a candle, and saying, "I'm safe now and I was very brave, and I'm glad it's over." or something like that." doesn't do ANYTHING for a victim of trauma. Maybe a child that's just gotten a vaccination ("There now. That wasn't so bad now was it. You were very brave. Here's a lollipop.") These are grown women obviously in a bad situation by their presence at your business. And you DON'T help them. You take their money, kill their babies and put them back in the situation from whence they came- only bleeding and empty.

God have mercy on you.

[Roni]

You're a goddess. That is just awesome.