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Sunday, October 22, 2006



I just found this site a week or so ago, and have spent quite a bit of time reading the archived blog posts and some of the comments, though not all or even most. I have come to truly respect the bloggers for their work and their expressions from that work. So, guys, thank you from another honored person - keep it up!

I wanted to reply to this thread specifically because of the comments about reasons for being enlisted or otherwise affiliated with the US military. My husband is enlisted in the Air Force and has been for six years. However, he has not been effected by the Stop-Gap measure, nor did he enlist because of any feelings of patriotism or sense of national duty. He enlisted because when I was fifteen and we were dating in high school, I was pregnant with our first child. We chose to not seek an abortion for our own reasons, but that one choice eliminated many others for me as an individual and us as a couple, especially because we both came from low-income families. So we each finished high school, unsure of the future beyond it. Since I finished a year early and with a high gpa, I was granted scholarships that covered enough so that I could attend college, but still had to work full time and live with my mother. My son went to day care for at least twelve hours a day. My husband (then boyfriend) worked full time as well, searching for long-term goals for himself and what would become our little family. He could not afford to go to college and had no marketable skills, his family was unable and unwilling to help pay for trade school and he did not qualify for any social programs aimed at his needs. So off to the recruiters he went.

We chose the AF because of its lower rates of mortality for its members and usually shorter and further-spaced deployments, as well as just a general reputation for respecting families more. We were married in the spring of '01 and arrived at our first duty station on Sept 1, ten days before 9/11. I had to leave my scholarships, my family, and the only state I had ever lived in to move 1800 miles away and live on my own and on a military base for the first time ever. My husband and I fought constantly, we had our second child before I turned 19, and we were constatly broke. Life was very hard for a very long time, but we are learning as best we can and doing much btter now, and without the "family aid" the military claims is available to those families in need of counseling or other services. But we still decided to re-enlist this past month.

I tell you all this because I feel it's important for people to know that the stories (and therefore the reasons) about joining the military and reproductive choices are all different, but all valid. We made our choices because they fit with our beliefs. I believe in providing what I can for my children. My husband believes in the same. So he spends twelve to fourteen hours per day out in the blazing sun or blistering cold (we live in a high-altitude desert) working on airplanes because his dream was to build things, and this is as close as he can get to that and still give his children what they need. I have postponed my degree about fifteen years it's looking, because it's how I can fulfill that same goal. Neither of us likes what the military does as a plaything to the rich and powerful of a theocratic country run amoc, but we can only deal with what's in front of us when we are the "have-nots." We find the answer to the problem where we can, not where we wish it was.

I think the United States needs a total paradigm shift in order to spare the dignity of and give respect to those that need it. Mothers and children are a total non-priority for our current government, and I see the issues of the women described here and those I face as one and the same because of that.

kate loving shenk

enjoy your blog--

here's a link to sign up to my weekly newsletter for nurses:


enjoy and happy thanksgiving--

kate loving shenk


Some comments:

First for Dawn, who says that those US servicepeople in Iraq have not gone completely against their will- the stop-gap policies of Herr Rumsfeld are essentially a back-door draft which rotates people back into the theater far beyong their contractual expectations with the military.

Secondly, military hospitals under the Bush regime do not allow abortions, so female servicepersons who have been raped and impregnated cannot receive abortion services.

And yes, female soldiers are being raped, all too often, and by their own.

Have a nice day!

Justin Shelton

Thank you for providing this blog. You obviously show love and care to all who come to you scared, hurting, and lonely. Thank you for being there.


This is strange as I never thought I would be posting. I am the real post deleter. I am the one who started it all. Why I did it was because of the constant profanity laced posts by specifically KodyBear and Indy; this actually being quite irrelevant as I have made my feelings very clear from the start. Now while I'm clearing things up, I am not the one you refer to as "The Crusader OR Mr. FATMouth. Should you continue to believe I am then fine, no since in trying to talk to those that are deaf.

Now, why am I posting? First and foremost I have not deleted any posts since Admin put us on time out. I think we all learned, including me from that little episode. Their were some very well thought out and written comments in that string.

The recent posts that are being deleted are not being deleted by my hand. I stated in my poem that hopefully you all read that I would be watching and I am. I have seen no rules broken. What I have seen is a clean version and a genuinely unique Kody story. I applaud him for that effort. Seriously, thank for cleaning it up! I have also seen Indy posts. I don't honestly know that it was Indy as I am also the one that takes credit for running him off. Yes, he is a dismal individual who literally does not belong here or anywhere. Regardless of that one of his posts were deleted as well, again not by my hand. The bottom line is I am not your post deleter this time. However, I would return should the crap return. That is why I am posting. The crap has not returned and I’m taking the heat for deleting posts. So whoever you are make yourself known in the form of a post and clear me. At least I met the beast on equal footing and stated my cause.

I just wanted everyone to know that. Now commenter’s, before you go off on a feeding frenzy please understand I am not posting to argue as to whether I had the right to delete posts or not. I chose to do what I did and I will chose to do so again if necessary. Yes DragonLady I realize this is Admins site and only admin has the right to make those choices. Unfortunately Admin has never made the right choice yet in the proper moderating of this site. And I have every right to say that. I also have every right to disagree with anyone’s rules or regulations as they do mine.

Just understand I am not the current deleter and I say to whomever you are; I disagree.


Those sent to war so far have not been going completely against their will. They were signed up in the military or guards. My dad is in the guards, and he chose that life with the risk he would go to war. He was in the Vietnam war, he was in the previous Kuwait/Iraq "conflict." Vietnam is different in that it was full of young men who were not already chosing to be in the military. They were drafted, and then sent out. It is sad that men and women are disabled now in this war. It's rare to get through a war without injuries and casualties, probably impossible.

Even if the parents had a stable home and future security, they may have chosen abortion because of worries about how the older sibling would adjust to the new baby, or maybe the mother would not want another baby to deal with while her husband worked, or maybe she would want to go back to work herself and wouldn't want a baby to slow that down. War is not the only reason people have abortions, and it might not have been the only reason in this case. If he were a police officer, they might have made the same decision (if it's about dad not being around because of a risky job).


Not meant to be critical - the parallels between Vietnam and Operation Iraqi Freedom are becoming more apparent every day. While the death toll is not nearly as high (yet), the statistics are misleading: the number of young men and women who are coming home partially or totally diabled is a lot higher. They're coming home, yes - missing limbs, or sight, or mental health.

Frankly I think it emphasizes how little regard our administration really has for 'life.' Save them in the womb, yes; protect them after birth and as adults - nah, they're disposable. If we weren't at war, if the family was earning enough to give their children a stable home and some future security, the parents wouldn't have had to make the choice they did.

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