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Sunday, April 10, 2005



Hello, Your site is great. Regards, Valintino Guxxi


"It is hard to let go of a baby in an adoption process, but is it really worse than having an abortion?"

Yes. Some women grieve after an abortion. A few grieve for long periods of time. But virtually all women who give up a child for adoption grieve their whole lives.

Again, one of the many studies on this issue: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?cmd=Retrieve&db=pubmed&dopt=Abstract&list_uids=10438084

Nor is post-partum depression anything to be taken lightly. A woman is 70X more likely to commit suicide after giving birth than any other time in her life (reference: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?cmd=Retrieve&db=pubmed&dopt=Abstract&list_uids=9926095)

In contrast, most women feel better after termination, and virtually all feel psychologically well within a year. (ref: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?cmd=Retrieve&db=pubmed&dopt=Abstract&list_uids=15081205)


I suffered post-partum depression after my first child, and there are many resources available to help moms that are struggling. That is not a good excuse to have an abortion.

There was also the option of adoption. It is hard to let go of a baby in an adoption process, but is it really worse than having an abortion?

I wish that this woman and her husband had chosen a different way. It wasn't necissary to sacrifice one child on behalf of the other.


"suppose the abortion causes the mother to suffer long-term emotional damage (it does happen)?"

It does happen occasionally, most often when a woman is made to feel guilty about her choice. However, statistically, a woman is much more likely to be damaged emotionally or physically by completing a pregnancy than by having an abortion. Who would take care of the little girl if the mother was forced to have the baby and committed suicide because of post-partum depression? Post partum depression, unlike post-abortion depression, is a common entity and can be deadly.


I respectfully disagree with the logic of this couple. To me, that is like saying if you had very little money, it is ok to starve one child to save the other. I can appreciate the stress of the little girl in question, but suppose the abortion causes the mother to suffer long-term emotional damage (it does happen)? Will that help the older child? Will she benifit from a mother that is in mourning? Would she thank them 20 years from now for putting her before the life of her sibling?

I don't think that anyone has the answers... but it does make you wonder.

Granny Grump

I've added this woman and her family to my prayer list, and asked others to pray for them. What a sad, sad situation. The stress of an abortion on top of the anguish the woman's already suffering from separation from her child!

Ol Cranky

Actually Emily, there are quite a few military families with babies/young children and both parents on active duty. It's, unfortunately, not as uncommon as you'd think (I've heard about a 3 young couples who've had to send their babies to live with a grandparent because they've both been deployed in the past year or so). I'm sure Lou finagled the facts just enough to protect their identities.


This story contains unusual details about the couple in question (both served in Iraq, had a baby, left baby in care of grandmother for a year). These details are sufficiently unusual that they make the couple identifiable to those who know them. Although it's unlikely that anyone who knows them would run across this blog, you're running the risk of violating their confidentiality.


I just discovered this site. It's wonderful - keep it up!

An Australian pro-choicer.

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