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Thursday, November 18, 2004



How abortion and positive can ever be used in the same sentence, I will never know. People who don't regret abortions must have no conscience. I had an abortion a few years ago after getting involved with someone while I was waiting on my divorce to be final. My husband beat me up, but I couldn't bear for him to know I was pregnant or my family to know. I regret it to this day. The man I was involved with offered to move out of town with me to have the baby. He offered every opportunity to keep it. I screwed up and killed my unborn child. That's what it is, no matter how you want to sugar coat it. It's a child and it's murder. If you are at a point in your life where you are ready to have sex then you are at a point in your life to have a baby and put it up for adoption or raise it. People make that choice everyday. It's not the baby's fault for their parents' poor judgement so why punish the baby? I now have a beautiful child and I look at my child often and wonder what my first baby would have been like. I terminated my pregnancy very early, six weeks, but the baby was just as much alive as my child is now. It's a sick process and I struggle with my poor decision every day.


"Are there really women who think of their abortions positively?"

Yes. I am one of them. Its been almost two years and I still have never felt this guilt or depression that right-wingers claim women who have had abortions always feel. I've only ever felt the relief and peace of knowing that I did the right thing for everyone involved.


Abortionists are running a business. What do businesses need to survive? CUSTOMERS. Does anyone really believe that Abortion Providers are most concerned about the woman's BEST INTEREST when she comes in for "counseling" and not the $500 bucks they're going to make from the killing of her baby? I think not. Don't kid yourself, abortion is a very profitable business. Is it any coincidence that in this age of convenience, more children are dying today as the result of abortion than at any other time in history? I don't hate people who perform abortions but their actions are evil and there is no other way to say it. I'll pray for you.


"Are there really women who think of their abortions positively?"

Yes. Yes, and yes. And, oh, yes. There are naturally mixed feelings, but the overwhelming feeling is positive. Despite society's attempt to shame me, I am happy and confident that I made the right decision.


"Are there really women who think of their abortions positively?"

*raises hand*


It's soooo easy to say just adopt. Being adopted myself and I have adopted 3 kids, so I feel I can speak accurately and it isn't the universal panacea. It's so hard, and it feels so lonely to be adopted.

I had an abortion when I was 25 and never have I felt a minute of guilt or shame.


Are there really women who think of their abortions positively? I haven't met one. I look back in horror at my own. I had no idea that my baby had a heartbeat, brain waves, even fingers and toes. When I realize how close I was to my second trimester, I could cry.

Where is adoption? To have a baby at the wrong point in your life could be an AMAZING thing for another family. Is it really better to think of a dead child than to think of having made a family?

Wouldn't it serve women far better in the long run to provide more services and support for continuing a pregnancy? The whole thing just breaks my heart.


I'm actually not in favor of legislating laws to make abortion illegal. Be careful before generalizing all pro-lifers. Unplanned for children aren't the only ones which are abused, neglecteed, and abanded, it happens to wanted children as well. Can you prove that the abuse rate has declined since abortion has been legalized in the United States? The problem doesn't lie with the child. Those who abuse others(i.e. domestic violence) usually have a mental illness or drug/alcohol abuse problems (i.e. the mother of famous author David Pelzer "A Child Called It"). Also domestic violence is a viscous family cycle which can only be broken by the victim. I encourage those facing an unplanned pregnancy who are in an abusive situation to seek shelter and call a abuse victims hotline. I will help them find for a battered women's/family shelter in their area and direct them to resources for filing a restraining order. If you would of read all my other posts here, you've seen that I'm already advocating for better social conditions (pay that matches living standards better), more potential for further education for better social mobility, more flexible working conditions, fightening against pregnancy discrimination in the workplace. I associate myself with a pro-life organization called Feminists For Life, who advocate equal opportunities for women. Check them out: http://feministsforlife.org/
Also, I volunteer in a pregnancy resource center, which provides practical needs, community referrals, and emotional support for those who choose to carry to term. Don't believe the propoganda NARAL puts out. The objective of pregnancy resource centers is not a political one, but a most practical one: to to ensure that every woman knows that the resources she needs in order to continue her pregnancy are available. These centers offer ultrasound, material and emotional support,and community referrals for assistance(housing/safe shelter, continuing education, substance/alcohol abuse recovery, etc) during pregnancy and parenting. Also many include post-abortion counseling. Most such organizations are not involved in public debate or anti-abortion political activism. Also there are organizations, such as Birthright, which aren't religiously-based. Unfortuantly there are those some centers which use unethical tactics, and they are few, the majority have a policy on client care with the highest expectations and welcome feedback from clients. For more information about pregnancy resource centers, go to:
www.nurturingnetwork.org/ or 1-800-TNN-4MOM
If you look into the above mentioned organizations, you will find that many pro-lifers, such as myself, do care about the woman. We are working to improve social support systems so women don't have to choose abortion under pressure from a partner or economic circumstances. And the support goes beyond just pregnancy. Please do more research before throwing out base-less accusations.


The question of regret arises when there is no choice in the matter, something that pro-choice advocates try to work towards resolving. Not having an abortion for your own sake because you genuinely feel it to be the best thing for you to do is wrong, but there's no law that can change that. Having even fewer options isn't an improvement. Having a child that you feel you had no choice but to have isn't good either -- and the majority of neglected, abandoned and abused children were never wanted in the first place.

If you're interested in seeing fewer women driven to abortion, then get serious about supporting women who want to leave abusive relationships, better reproductive control and better social conditions (pay that matches living standards better, more potential for further education for better social mobility, more flexible working conditions, pension schemes that allow for a woman to work part-time without putting her future in jeopardy). All these things reduce abortion rates dramatically. We know that they work, a lot better than changing laws to outlaw abortion do.
But too many so-called pro-life advocates' concerns begin and end with 'at least she didn't have an abortion'. I lie: more accurately, the concerns are 'at least it's not legal' whether or not it's actually HAPPENING and the human suffering that results from it, pro-life people don't actually care.



I've educated myself on post-abortion feelings, reading women's stories at I'm Not Sorry, afterabortion.com, and at Abortion Concern.
Abortion as the "right to live your life" is a joke. Women who are coerced into abortions by their partner, guardian, mentor, or doctor didn't have a choice. Nor are women who feel pressured into their abortion by their social circumstances free.
Reading stories and looking at reasons women choose abortion, she is often driven to abortion by fear, not a conscious choice that is free. Often the initial response in most cases is a feeling of relief from the problem pregnancy. Those around her told her (and she told herself) her abortion was the right choice, it won't bother her. A woman may become an abortion advocate ("I did the right thing, therefore it must be right for others"). Then, with repression and denial, she avoids the problem, usually for years. But then, for some, the negative feelings bubble up and break through. Often the precipitating event is: she has a baby, or a close friend or relative has a baby that she has close contact with. She finds out she is sterile, or other life-changing events. Many aged post-abortion women are speaking out about their abortions they had as teens and young women. We are finding that many womens feelings about their abortion change 40 and 50 yrs later.


We hear the pro-choice side of things.. Its everywhere. This is an obvious attempt tp show the other side. Ive seen pro-choice films and they too are one sided..


Abortion may well hurt women, but unwanted pregnancy will surely hurt them more? I feel sadness that I had to terminate my pregnancy, but I am rational and know that effectively I had no choice - to have had a child at that point in my life would have been wrong for me, for the child, and for the child's father. I think I can cope with a certain amount of emotional trauma, necessarily limited by the need to get on with my life, and be thankful that I had the strength not to potentially devastate three lives.


This is very worrisome. What about the faces that were helped by abortion? How one-sided!

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