abortionclinicdays

you never know.....

once of the most striking aspects of any clinic worker's experience is that on any given day anywhere from 25-50% of the patients will start out telling the counselor how they never believed in abortion until they were in the situation that caused them to look at it differently.  many will say that they just didn't believe women needed to choose abortion when they could just as easily choose adoption.  still others will tell of going with their catholic school to demonstrations in washington, d.c., protesting at their local abortion clinic with their protestant or fundamentalist church, or going, sometimes with their mom, to various anti-abortion events.

but then, suddenly when they are forced to confront a pregnancy that cannot continue, they are at first disbelieving that it could happen to them, then disbelieving of themselves that they are considering abortion.  how can that be?  it throws them for a loop, let me tell you.

again this past saturday i spoke with a woman who told me that she was ashamed that she had made judgements about other women, that even though she was upset that she was choosing abortion, at the same time she knew it was the right decision for her.

but why, i wonder, is there such a disconnect?  why do so many women think that they are against abortion but then have one when they find themselves to be pregnant at a time that they feel they cannot be the kind of parent they want to be? 

in other countries where there is not so much anti-abortion rhetoric and protest, women seem to do better, to have less guilt about their choices.  this fact has been proven by numerous studies. 

as we approach the anniversary date of the roe vs wade decision which declared that the woman and her doctor should be the only ones to make the decision, we seem to have moved away from that thought at the same time that abortion numbers are creeping up again.  yet the anti-abortion folks are louder than before. 

it's hard to make sense of it, isn't it, if you are the one who is pregnant, didn't mean to be.  you know what's right in your case, but it may not be what you thought you'd choose.  you never know....

lou

to amanda

hi amanda,

if you want to counsel at an abortion clinic, i suggest that you call all the clinics that are near you and see if they allow students to do a supervised practicum there. as you know, in order for you to be able to do a practicum, your college or university usually requires that there be a qualified supervisor on staff, someone with at least a master's degree. not all clinics will fulfill that requirement. we have supervisors on staff for social work, counseling, and psychology majors.

in our clinic, you would need a masters or equivalent to work as a counselor. the work is extremely rewarding but also very challenging in some cases. while most of the women who choose abortion are ok with their decision, some have real problems. for example, women whose families are pressuring them into the abortion are usually not going to do well afterwards. that is why we want our counselors to be skilled and experienced so that they do not make errors in judgment. at our clinic, we would strongly discourage women who are not resolved from having an abortion on that day, and would send them home with a decision making workbook (www.pregnancyoptions.info). in addition, women who do not have a good support system may not do well since love and support are a great help in getting all of us through the difficult times of our lives. also, women with a history of mental health problems, depression, etc might find abortion hard too. and even many women who are ok with the decision still experience feelings of loss or have spiritual concerns, which is normal.

since most women are not in the above categories in that they make their own decision, usually with a partner, most will do well. the statistic of 43% of american women having an abortion in their reproductive lifetime makes abortion the most likely surgical (including now non-surgical with the abortion pill) procedure that a woman is likely to have during her whole life. so it's actually quite a common experience for women.

but to get back to you and your question: as a student you would not be permitted to counsel on your own until you had many, many supervised hours, and then only in occasional uncomplicated cases. we view abortion as a life and death issue and give it all the consideration it deserves. i do urge you, if you are interested in becoming a counselor, to pursue your goals. working with and for women, helping them to achieve their dreams, to attain a better quality of life for themselves and their families, gives our lives meaning as well. not many people are lucky enough to see the fruits of their labors on a daily basis. we receive letters every day thanking us for being there, for the consideration we showed them and their support persons. i feel honored and blessed to have found this work and i hope you can find your way into it too.

lou

response

from time to time we are asked permission to be quoted and/or written about. anything we write is meant for public readership, meant to be shared and therefore, could be referred to in a newsletter. we love our work and are happy to share our experiences with you, our readers.

lou

How do you spot the bad apple?

Well, here's an interesting news story that you might want some behind the scenes info on... Dr. Steve Brigham of American Women's Services, and several other names that sound a lot like other more reputable clinics, has just lost his doctor in Erie PA. He himself has surrendered his license in PA, lost it in NY, and for some reason, still has it in NJ. He lost one doc in the spring because, it turned out he didnt HAVE a license. Now his remaining doc quit or was fired depending on who you talk to. He had his DEA certificate suspended or revoked for prescribing some narcotic for a family member. Allegations are flying back and forth about standards and quality, which with these guys is splitting hairs, since they don't seem to abide by any of the current standards of quality.

Now, some folks have said that pro choice activists or abortion clinics have stood by and let these folks practice. NO NO NO! In town after town, I assure you the providers we know have encouraged patients who have had terrible treatment to call the state health dept and report the clinic. Health depts have been called directly. Hospitals and physicians have been given the heads up and know first hand some of the problems. Reporters are fully informed. But, these "bad apples" are still going strong.

What's up?? Well, first of all there are medical standards that are set out for abortion practice. There may be a variation about some good practices, but there are several certifications a clinic could have. The National Abortion Federation enforces its standards with inspections. Many surgi centers have Triple A certification. Most insurance companies have some kind of quality assurance program. The National Coalition of Abortion Providers doesn't accredit but does encourage and educate about quality services. And, there are basic dept of health standards, lab regulations through CLIA, and all sorts of other regulations. We don't need more regulation, especially the kind that is designed to drive abortion services to close their doors and applies to no one else. And of course, there are state boards in every state to ensure that doctors-- any kind of doctor-- are upholding basic medical ethics and standards.

What then? This won't solve everything, but hey, what about caveat emptor? The solution, as is so often the case, is in our hands as consumers. In the case of abortion services, the stigma and silencing that women endure makes the field wide open to non quality providers. The lack of health care funding, and coverage by Medicaid in most states, makes women ask more about price than about complications or pain management. This is wrong and women are suffering!

Why is it profitable to offer awful services? I can't tell you how many times a day people call and say how much is an abortion and then hang up and call another clinic. Comparison shopping is fine but when one clinic is $150-200 and the others are in the $350-400 range, you gotta wonder. Don't you? These clinics prey upon women who don't feel they can ask their friends, "what's the best place to go?" Just for the record, you can get referrals from your physician, a local Planned Parenthood (which also does site visits at least), or Family Planning agencies. The phone book and the internet are not enough!!! And ask questions. Visit the place if you can. Trust your instincts. Leave if you are not comfortable. Please be careful!

for natalie

hi natalie,

in order for you to read the brochures that we use at our clinic, i am sending you the websites to access all of thier written info. i apologize but i do not have a scanner and could not therefore send all of them off to you myself. in addition, i figured that there might be other readers of this blog who might want to read what's avaibable online.

we use and refer women to www.catholicsforchoice.org and www.rcrc.org (the latter is religious coalition for reproductive choice). in addition, we use www.pregnancyoptions.info which will lead you to a decision-making workbook that is quite helpful, even after your abortion.

check these sources out and then let me know if they are helpful to you or if you want something more, something specific and i'll do my best to get it to you. i am happy to help you in any way i can.

lou

Statement about arson

Hi, I mentioned the arson at the Florida clinic that colleagues of mine own and work. I don't think the media ever really gets any of us in our own words, so I thought I'd pass on their statement to the media. I've also included the place to send any donations for re-building that you might want to send their way---or gestures of encouragement are also extremely valuable for staff at times like these.

The family owners of WomanCare Center in Lake Worth wish to issue the

following statement which will also be read at the Press Conference:

PRESS STATEMENT

While our neighbors and friends and people all over the country were

preparing to celebrate our nation’s birthday and our hard-earned rights and freedoms,

someone else was planning to terrorize us right here. Someone singled out

WomanCare Center and planned to destroy us with by fire. Someone came in the dark

of night to hide their identity. Someone acted without concern for the safety

of and, in fact, endangered the safety of our residential neighbors. Someone

decided to reduce to ashes, both this facility and the right of women to

receive reproductive health services here at WomanCare.

We are still in shock. This is a place where women and their loved ones came

for many services, from pap smears to breast exams to abortions; for

non-judgmental counseling and referrals. There is no doubt that seeing it in ashes

takes the wind out of us. At the same time, our commitment to our patients is

stronger than ever and we are, today, coordinating services with medical providers

in our community.

We are extremely grateful to our neighbors who reported the late- night fire

so quickly and to the rapid response of our firemen, our local law

enforcement, federal marshals and agents of the BATF. No one person or group has yet been

identified as responsible for this act of terror and many possibilities are

under consideration. We will not speculate at this point so early in the

investigation.

Everyone worked hard to save our building, but we fear the attack has made

the building structurally unsound. As members of the National Coalition of

Abortion Providers (NCAP), the terrible news was sent to other abortion providers

nationwide. Colleagues from across the nation have quickly responded, offering

support and sharing advice from their own personal experiences with such acts

of terror. Our own local community has stepped forward to offer aid and to

work to help us quickly rebuild or open in a new location. In fact, local

physicians have called to say they will ensure our scheduled patients receive full

reproductive health services, including abortion care services.

Today, as we stand in the soot of our nation’s firework celebrations, we also

stand in the ashes of one of our own freedoms. Today, we see again that

rights, once earned, must often be re-defended, and re-asserted to be protected.

Like many before us, we will re-open and will continue to fulfill our commitment

to women. Yes, we do need help. A Women’s Relief Fund is being created to

help us rebuild. As soon as that is established, we will let everyone know.

We want whoever did this to know that our love is greater than your hate. Our

desire to heal is stronger than your desire to destroy. Right now, we ask for

everyone’s prayers for peace and for healing.

If you are contributing send your check, made out to - WCWP Women's Relief Fund (or you
can spell out WomanCare of West Palm). Mail your check to:
WomanCare of West Palm
1622 North Federal Highway
West Palm Beach, FL 33460

response to selma

selma, i am posting my answer to you here because many people may have the same question you did. you wanted to know if i corrected the information about adoption that one of the "perfect" women had. i did. we not only refer women to a local private adoption agency, we also refer to an attorney who specializes in private adoptions. she is pretty much an expert and even teaches the specifics of our state's laws. we also sometimes give contact information about people who are looking to adopt. there are many different ways that a woman seeking to place her baby for adoption can do so and we try to tell her of all of them so that she can choose the one that best suits her (or her and her partner or her family).
lu

it's rarely simple

i read your entry called "i was blind" and it reminded me of so many women i have counseled. it's not just about abortion, of course; it can also apply to an abusive situation. so many women would never consider abortion if it were not for their children. your patient was worried about how her partner treated the older child who was not his. often there is unspoken worry of getting trapped with a man who mistreats a child, but also that he could change his mind about that one, that he could be unable to cope if there were three children in the home, etc.

i have seen so many times that women have an abortion not for themselves but for the children they already have. they tell me that they never even thought about abortion with previous pregnancies, but they fear that they will not be able to manage financially, emotionally, and might somehow become less the kind of mother they want to be if they continue THIS pregnancy. and often, that is how they begin to see that abortion could be for the best in their situation. they could never make a decision just because it would be best for them. they remind sometimes of the women who are in an abusive relationship and for years cannot get the courage to leave. but then when they see what effect the abuse is having on the child, they realize that they HAVE to go, whether it's that the son is beginning to mimic the dad or that the daughter's image of herself is clearly being influenced.

one difference, though, is that the abused woman can often find support when she leaves, whether it's family, the women at the shelter, or friends. women who choose abortion in order to somehow make a better life for the children she already has often cannot get the support they need. for example, in the past example, the woman's mother said something like "we don't have abortions. we find ways to deal". i just think it makes it that much harder to heal when there's no one you can tell who will just zoom in and say "i'm here, i'm with you, i know you thought this through and you're making the best choice." that is what i wish were different. i wish every woman could count on getting some support when she makes the decision to have an abortion. there is so much honor in their choices. oh, that we could all respect that!

lu

stolen heart 3

just to fill you in. the 13 year old patient "n", who i said had stolen my heart really did. while i was away, i continued thinking of her, wondering what she would choose. when i returned from vacation i got a call from her asking to see me again. that was two days ago. she told me she had decided to continue her pregnancy and i told her that i was sorry to hear that because no one from her family would be able to help her and they had already said that she would have to go to the shelter. but she told me that was ok --she "didn't mind." i wished her well and told her that if she changed her mind to let me know.

i had some sense of her inner turmoil but did not know what to do. i could tell that she was torn. and she was unable to figure out why she wanted to continue the pregnancy when she knew she could not take care of it, that it would most likely be taken from her by the courts. although she's really smart, she is too young to have any insight into her motives. but, whatever she chose, it had to come from her because otherwise she could just immediately get pregnant again. she had to be the one to decide. well, she did call and schedule for this weekend, but when i got in to the clinic today there was a message to call her. i did only to hear that she was not coming in after all. what could i do but say ok. her aunt was crying in the background saying that the girl was ruining her life. then her mother called and said "we're coming". in the meantime of course i was seeing other patients, moving from one thing to the next, but wondering what had changed.

when they arrived, "n" said that she would have the abortion, that she was very sad, but that she knew it was for the best. her mother was both supportive of and exasperated with "n", afraid that she would again change her mind. i kept them both calm, saying that we had to just let it go where it went, that we could not control it. ultimately, "n" did have the abortion. both her mom and i were in the room with her, holding her hands and soothing her. all went well, including recovery.

i hope i see "n" again. i will be thinking of her for a long long time. i hope her mom is able to stay clean. today was the one year anniversary of getting off drugs, the longest she has ever been clean in her life. and next month mom and "n" will live together again for the first time in a number of years. it's gonna be rough for both of them, but there is a lot of hope and love there. we have to believe.......