abortion clinic: the reality show

if someone were creating a TV reality show about abortion, our clinic this past saturday would have been perfect, no additional script needed.  there was such a variety of patients, all women seeking an abortion for their own reasons.  all different ages and backgounds were represented, including women born in other countries.  there were so many women to serve so we were very busy and the patients' day was long.  as we tell them, we are sorry that you have to be here so long but more women are seeking abortions than there are doctors trained to do them.  however, we do manage; thanks to a highly skilled, stable, compassionate staff, we are mostly able to handle all that arises.

this past saturday included a nearly homeless 15 year old who had to be rescheduled so that we could seek funding for her to have sedation since she was too scared to have the procedure awake.  one of her parents died when she was 7, the other a year later.  four years after that, the relative who took her in died so this young woman has not had a lot of stability and parental protection in her life.  the support person accompanying her was also 15.   in another situation, we had been working with the police to collect the tissue for DNA testing since the pregnancy was a result of rape and the police were determined to prosecute even though the young woman did not want the stress of having to testify.  two other young women, both under 21, each with three children, had tried to get their tubes tied but were refused because they were underage.  so, rather than have a fourth child, each chose abortion.

outside on the sidewalk were nearly 150 protesters, mostly silent in prayer; still, in a crowd that large there are always the pushy, obnoxious, arrogant demonstators.  luckily the police came to keep them in line.  as you can imagine, we are too busy inside the clinic to pay any attention to the picketers. 

our patients included a couple whose baby had severe abnormalities, would never have made it through the pregnancy. they had to schedule quickly or else the woman would have been forced to carry the fetus until it died, and then wait for it to pass on its own.  it's so hard for parents of a planned pregnancy to find out that they must move quickly or else the hospital cannot help them.  they were so grateful that we were able to fit them in.  very grateful and very very sad.

as usual, most of our patients were in their twenties, some were in their thirties or forties; most already have children.  nearly every patient brought a support person with them, and most had the support person in the procedure with them. 

so who were the other patients and why were they all there that day?  one woman is a severe diabetic whose life would be threatened by continuing the pregnancy.  she did not want that risk since she has other kids at home who need her.  another is a student who was unsure what to do in god's eyes, so she went to talk to her pastor who helped her to see that god knows her heart and that there is always forgiveness.  another college student was here because she "wants to be something, be someone" before having a child so that her child will be proud of her.  another woman said that she was going to continue the pregnancy, partner was happy but then she started getting more and more depressed and realized that she could not handle parenting yet.  another woman says she needs to finish school so she can move out of her drug infested neighborhood, which is a horrible place to live, let alone raise children.  she said only with a college degree can she get out.  many of our patients that day considered adoption but could not imagine themselves giving a baby away.  one woman herself was adopted and told me that being adopted has always haunted her because she does not feel she belongs in her adoptive family.  worse, she said that since her own mother gave her away, she always wonders about that too.

there are usually a number of women looking for something different than the way they were raised.  another counselor talked to a woman who said that she had to complete her schooling because her mom did not and was trapped in a miserable relationship since she could not support herself.  the patient said that all of them suffered and she did not want to repeat that pattern.

a 41 year old woman with 5 kids said that she was done, no matter what, that she was tired, could not start over.  she stated that when she was younger, she would never imagined herself feeling that way because she was strongly prolife.  but, she said, when you are older, you come to realize that you do have limits, that you can't punish the kids you already have.  when there is not enough time, energy, money to go around, all of them suffer.

increasingly an emerging factor that leads to abortion is that the cost of birth control pills has jumped up so high, women who do not have either medical assistance from the government or else private insurance, are having difficulty paying for their birth control pills every month.  some pills cost as much as $75 per month.  not many women without insurance can afford that much so have stopped taking the pill.  they revert to more affordable, but perhaps less effective methods.

while we allow room for the sadness some women and men feel with abortion, we also feel the sense of togetherness that many women develop while they are here.  the media leads women who choose abortion to feel that they are a tiny minority, that they should feel terrible about their choice.  but knowing that many many others also conclude that abortion is best for their families, for their futures, women can walk out of here with their heads held high.  they are ready to deal with whatever emotional or spiritual issues that come up, but can move on with their lives knowing that their abortion was safe, that they did the right thing regardless of what anti abortion protesters might say or think.  we value women; we trust them make the wisest decision for their own lives.

lou

Comments

[aus blog]

At the point of conception is when life began for you. This was the start of your existance. Your own personal big bang. Three weeks after conception heart started to beat. First brain waves recorded at six weeks after conception. Seen sucking thumb at seven weeks after conception.

[aus blog]

Your right I do have a lilly white arse Ruth and wouldn't you like to see it. Sorry, didn't mean that. No I think it is your POLITICIANS who need to pull their heads out of there lilly white arses. They are really starting to look like a fundamentalist type, with mixing church and state and wanting to impose their religious ideals on the whole country. a bit Talibanish don't you think. There is no way that NO ABORTIONS & NO BIRTH CONTROL will ever work. I just realised Church groups that oppose birth control should pull their heads out also. The way I see it is that if both church and state put their heads together they could slow the abortion rate to a trickle. Here is a rough outline on what I know about what stratergies they are using at the moment in Australia-

Church groups actually running the clinnics and providing more informative counciling giving the client a clearer picture of what it is she is about to do. Also they are involved heavily in birth control distribution and education. If there were a god would this not be more like his work?
Oh incidentally I live in subsidised housing and drive a car I paid $250 for, but love to drive just the same.

[Ruth Rivera]

Aus Blog, please pull your head out of your over-priviliged, narrow-minded, lily-white ass. Not every woman is fortunate enough to have access to or is able to afford the most effective contraceptives. Additionally, not every women can use hormonal birth control due to preexisting medical conditions, as well as side effects. There is no one birth control that works for every woman. Even Implanon has a failure rate and the rate given is an ESTIMATE, because there aren't enough data to determine its efficacy in the real world.

[RuthieD]

AUS BLOG: FOR THE LAST TIME, STOP REPEATING YOUR STUPID POSTS. WE ALL KNOW HOW TO READ AND WE GOT THEM THE FIRST TIME. NOW GO THE FUCK AWAY, TROLL.

[aus blog]

DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU CAN GET AN IMPLANT (in arm) THAT IS - SAFE - 99.9% EFFECTIVE AND LASTS FOR THREE YEARS?

[RuthieD]

Itz speshul cuz WE SAY itz speshul. Duh!

[DP]

once the egg is fertilized, the cells begin to multiply and it is a LIFE.

What was it before, dead? Unfertilized eggs (oocytes, really, they don't undergo terminal differentiation until after fertilization) are living cells, just as much as fertilized eggs. Sperm are also living cells. And both are just as much human cells as a fertilized egg. So what's so special about a fertilized egg as opposed to unfertilized gametes?

[Lingual X]

Hey there,

I wanted to let you know that this post was nominated & selected for the 23rd edition of Carnival of Feminists. You can read the Carnival at Lingual Tremors. (http://www.fervidus.typepad.com)

If I've made any mistakes, please email and I'll fix it as soon as possible.

I really hope you enjoy reading the COF. Thanks for your wonderful work.

Cheers!
Lingual X

[RuthieD]

I GUARANTEE that each and every woman who has had an abortion gave FAR more thought to that POTENTIAL life than George W. Bush and his cronies gave to the lives of the U.S. soldiers they sent off to fight a bogus war in order to secure Iraq's oil for their coffers and the hundreds of thousands of Iraqi civilians - including those oh-so-precious and sacred fetuses - slaughtered and maimed by our bombs.

[RuthieD]

Other sequelae of grinding poverty, worldwide: Women, girls, and boys sold in to sexual slavery. Children who live like rats on the streets of Brazil and are exterminated as such by the police. The genocide in Darfur. The brutal rapes of thousands of girls and women in Sierra Leone. Et cetera, ad nauseum.

[RuthieD]

In the U.S.: 13 million children go hungry each year; 55% of men did not pay a single penny of their court-ordered child support; over 2.6 million cases of child abuse were reported AND EXPERTS BELIEVE THAT THE INCIDENCE OF CHILD ABUSE IS VASTLY UNDERREPORTED; nearly 400,000 women are raped each year and the U.S. Justice Department estimates that only 26% of all rapes or attempted rapes are being reported to law enforcement officials; from 1 million to 3 million women are physically assaulted by their husband or boyfriend each year. Worldwide: Every day, more than 16,000 children die from hunger-related causes--one child every five seconds - THAT'S NEARLY 6 MILLION CHILDREN WHO DIE FROM AN ENTIRELY PREVENTABLE CONDITION; over 500,000 women die from complications arising from pregnancy and childbirth (and this DOES NOT include the 75,000 who die each year from DIY or back-alley abortions) - THAT'S NEARLY 1400 WOMEN PER DAY WHO DIE FROM PREGNANCY & LABOR COMPLICATIONS EACH AND EVERY DAY.

[RuthieD]

You'll have to pardon me for not having much sympathy for the deaths of non-sentient clots of human tissue, which have neither volition nor emotions nor desires nor the capability to experience the condition of suffering. My sympathy and outrage are reserved for actual, born people who are, in fact, CAPABLE of experiencing the condition of suffering.

[Angela]

Amananta - I am praying for you.

[aus blog]

In the US fifty percent of all cases, CLAIMED birth control was used, forty-eight percent used no precaution, and two percent had medical reasons.

ausblog

[Momma of a preschooler]

Thank you so very much, Lou, for the moving, descriptive, and so very real post. I come by your site every couple of months to catch up, and I am always touched by the heartfelt care that you give to all these women--no matter what their final decision--in counseling. Thank you for the work that you do. Thank you for being there. It is important work.

My only comment other than the above is that it would be lovely to have comments on this site moderated. There seems to be no room for people like me who want to hear others' truly thoughtful and loving comments. There are automated systems that can weed out the rude diatribes.

[Amananta]

All you so called "pro lifers" make me sick. Women are hurt by abortion? What a crock! Having an abortion when I was 21 was one of the best decisions I ever made. All abortion is preventable with birth control? What bullshit, my pregnancy happened when I was using an effective form of birth control which I had been using for years without an accident. No birth control is perfect. You are deluding yourselves if you imagine all accidental pregnancies are due to laziness and ignorance, it just shows how much you hate women.
Anything which is completely dependent upon my digestive system, circulatory system, respiratory system, and excretory system in order to continue surviving can only be described as a parasite or part of my own body. I have the right to do with it as I please.

[aus blog]

3,500 per day, 1.3 MILLION per year. In the United States alone. World wide 50 OR 60 MILLION per year. sorry.

[RuthieD]

Actaully, Christine, I have a hatred for stupidity, fascism, and misogyny, which happen to abound in Catholicism.

As far as your life argument, each sperm and each ovum are alive and we certainly aren't obligated to ensure that their lives are preserved. Bacteria are alive, and I have no qualms about using antibiotics to kill them when they cause an infection. Nematodes are alive (and even have a beating heart), but if one finds its way into my gut, even though I ate raw beef with the full knowledge that raw beef often harbors parasites (so by forced-birther logic would be thus obligated to let it continue its leaching from my body) I will most certainly kill it without qualm.

[Christine]

Ruthie, you obviously have a hatred for Catholics.

But the fact is this: once the egg is fertilized, the cells begin to multiply and it is a LIFE.

Therefore, abortion is ending a human LIFE.

[RuthieD]

And even firewall and antivirus programs fail, just as the most effective birth control does. You do know what failure rates are, right? And you must also know that even tubal ligation has a failure rate. Nice try with the lunatic web screaming, though.

[aus blog]

NO ONE WOULD LOG ON TO THE INTERNET WITHOUT AN EFFECTIVE FIRE WALL AND ANTIVIRUS, THE RISK WOULD BE TOO GREAT.
IT'S A PITTY PEOPLE AREN'T AS CAUTIOUS WHEN IT COMES TO SEX.

[Angela]

Ruthie - every Saint has a past and every sinner has a future. Here's to the future. God bless you.

Leaving this thread now but will be back to check on you now and then. Take care.

[RuthieD]

Aus Blog, please stop repeating your posts. We all do know how to read and we got it the first time. Thank you.

[RuthieD]

Aus Blog: "ARE THEY NOT ALIVE IF THEY HAVE A HEART BEAT AND BLOOD FLOW?"

Each sperm and each ovum is alive, as is the resulting one-celled zygote. It isn't until day 23-25 (3-1/2 weeks) that the primitive heart begins to beat. A circulatory system becomes necessary when a multi-cellular organism reaches a certain size in order to distribute the nutrients necessary for life to continue. Bacteria and protists are uni-cellular and multi-cellular organisms which do not possess a heart and circulatory system, but they are still complete organisms, as well as most certainly alive.

[aus blog]

World wide there are over 3,500 terminations carried out every day. Thats well over 1.3 million every year. In the US fifty percent of all cases, claimed birth control was used, forty-eight percent used no precaution, and two percent had medical reasons.
That's a stagering ninety-eight percent that could have been prevented had an effective birth control been used. That's sad.
Don't get me wrong, I suspect the figures in Australia would be much the same. Just a whole lot of unnessesary killing.
ausblog