abortion clinic: the reality show

if someone were creating a TV reality show about abortion, our clinic this past saturday would have been perfect, no additional script needed.  there was such a variety of patients, all women seeking an abortion for their own reasons.  all different ages and backgounds were represented, including women born in other countries.  there were so many women to serve so we were very busy and the patients' day was long.  as we tell them, we are sorry that you have to be here so long but more women are seeking abortions than there are doctors trained to do them.  however, we do manage; thanks to a highly skilled, stable, compassionate staff, we are mostly able to handle all that arises.

this past saturday included a nearly homeless 15 year old who had to be rescheduled so that we could seek funding for her to have sedation since she was too scared to have the procedure awake.  one of her parents died when she was 7, the other a year later.  four years after that, the relative who took her in died so this young woman has not had a lot of stability and parental protection in her life.  the support person accompanying her was also 15.   in another situation, we had been working with the police to collect the tissue for DNA testing since the pregnancy was a result of rape and the police were determined to prosecute even though the young woman did not want the stress of having to testify.  two other young women, both under 21, each with three children, had tried to get their tubes tied but were refused because they were underage.  so, rather than have a fourth child, each chose abortion.

outside on the sidewalk were nearly 150 protesters, mostly silent in prayer; still, in a crowd that large there are always the pushy, obnoxious, arrogant demonstators.  luckily the police came to keep them in line.  as you can imagine, we are too busy inside the clinic to pay any attention to the picketers. 

our patients included a couple whose baby had severe abnormalities, would never have made it through the pregnancy. they had to schedule quickly or else the woman would have been forced to carry the fetus until it died, and then wait for it to pass on its own.  it's so hard for parents of a planned pregnancy to find out that they must move quickly or else the hospital cannot help them.  they were so grateful that we were able to fit them in.  very grateful and very very sad.

as usual, most of our patients were in their twenties, some were in their thirties or forties; most already have children.  nearly every patient brought a support person with them, and most had the support person in the procedure with them. 

so who were the other patients and why were they all there that day?  one woman is a severe diabetic whose life would be threatened by continuing the pregnancy.  she did not want that risk since she has other kids at home who need her.  another is a student who was unsure what to do in god's eyes, so she went to talk to her pastor who helped her to see that god knows her heart and that there is always forgiveness.  another college student was here because she "wants to be something, be someone" before having a child so that her child will be proud of her.  another woman said that she was going to continue the pregnancy, partner was happy but then she started getting more and more depressed and realized that she could not handle parenting yet.  another woman says she needs to finish school so she can move out of her drug infested neighborhood, which is a horrible place to live, let alone raise children.  she said only with a college degree can she get out.  many of our patients that day considered adoption but could not imagine themselves giving a baby away.  one woman herself was adopted and told me that being adopted has always haunted her because she does not feel she belongs in her adoptive family.  worse, she said that since her own mother gave her away, she always wonders about that too.

there are usually a number of women looking for something different than the way they were raised.  another counselor talked to a woman who said that she had to complete her schooling because her mom did not and was trapped in a miserable relationship since she could not support herself.  the patient said that all of them suffered and she did not want to repeat that pattern.

a 41 year old woman with 5 kids said that she was done, no matter what, that she was tired, could not start over.  she stated that when she was younger, she would never imagined herself feeling that way because she was strongly prolife.  but, she said, when you are older, you come to realize that you do have limits, that you can't punish the kids you already have.  when there is not enough time, energy, money to go around, all of them suffer.

increasingly an emerging factor that leads to abortion is that the cost of birth control pills has jumped up so high, women who do not have either medical assistance from the government or else private insurance, are having difficulty paying for their birth control pills every month.  some pills cost as much as $75 per month.  not many women without insurance can afford that much so have stopped taking the pill.  they revert to more affordable, but perhaps less effective methods.

while we allow room for the sadness some women and men feel with abortion, we also feel the sense of togetherness that many women develop while they are here.  the media leads women who choose abortion to feel that they are a tiny minority, that they should feel terrible about their choice.  but knowing that many many others also conclude that abortion is best for their families, for their futures, women can walk out of here with their heads held high.  they are ready to deal with whatever emotional or spiritual issues that come up, but can move on with their lives knowing that their abortion was safe, that they did the right thing regardless of what anti abortion protesters might say or think.  we value women; we trust them make the wisest decision for their own lives.

lou

Comments

[Mary Smith]

The issue here is not just abortion, it is also contraception, sex and the role of women in society.

"When you peel back the layers of the anti-choice motivation, it always comes back to two things: What is the nature and purpose of human sexuality? And second, what is the role of women in the world?" Sex and the role of women are inextricably linked, because "if you can separate sex from procreation, you have given women the ability to participate in society on an equal basis with men." Gloria Feldt, the former president of Planned Parenthood

Make no mistake, pro lifers are also out to ban contraception, particularly reliable methods such as the pill and IUD which they label as abortifacient.
http://www.abortion.org.au

[Angie]

its so easy to judge someone when you haven't been in their situation. there are people in this world that are very lucky to have what they have.. most people who are low income dont have the resources to get pills or anything like....they can barely afford food...as for using condoms most people who are in this situation dont know what they are and if they do they can't afford them because they are too busy thinking what they will feed the rest of their kids for dinner..

[Julie]

Someone else put this so succintly in a comment for "One In Three Pregnancies Planned." When a woman is down to her last $50 or so and she has to choose between birth control and food for her kids, it's a foregone conclusion who is going to win this little tug-of-war.
I've been lucky because my parents made enough money to keep a roof over our heads, food on the table, and our family at a managable number of kids. But a lot of people struggled to do this, and still struggle today.
It's really easy to look down upon them and sneer from your rarified heights, but get down off your high horse and walk a mile in the shoes of the working poor. Yeah, I know I mixed my metaphors, but everyone knows what I mean.

[Crystal]

An unborn baby is now called a parasite?? How could it be possible that in 2006 people could still be so ignorant? To much of your surprise, birth control DOES WORK!!!! Cant afford pills???? Use condoms!!!! Its so funny how people who can barely afford rent or food to put in thier tummies can manage to get pregnant and pay for an abortion? Pregnancies are caused by sex, sometimes even if u use some kind of birth control. So if u cant afford a baby,dont risk getting pregnant. Now excuse me, as I go feed my newborn, former parasite.

[Julie]

Hey Brucie baby, it wouldn't have made any difference to me if I'd been aborted because I wouldn't. I would have just been reincarnated and born to another woman, and in the end, I would STILL have ended up here, calling you "Brucie baby."
My mom chose to have me, and her choice is all that matters.

[Christina]

Thanks, Linda...

I was ignoring him anway...but it helps to know who I'm ignoring.

[Linda Flores]

Ignore "Bruce" -- his email is the same as AusBot ... er, Blog.

[Bruce]

If conception is NOT when life begins,and a clump of cells is just that and not a living human being.

Then at least concider this-

Soon after you were conceived you were no more than a clump of cells.
This clump of cells was you at your earliest stage, you had plenty of growing to do but this clump of cells was you none the less.
Think about it.
Aren't you glad you were left unhindered to develope further.
Safe inside your mother's womb until you were born.

[Christina]

"once the egg is fertilized, the cells begin to multiply and it is a LIFE."

Applying this logic, then I suppose we should stop ALL research on cures for cancer and AID and the like because cancer cells multiply at a rate much faster than the rate of an embryo, therefore Cancer is a LIFE, right?

And if cancer is alive, then we are wrong to put an end to its life?

Bottom line, pregnancy in the first trimester is nothing but the potential for new life. Period. Romanticize it with religion or blinders, whatever you want to do, but face the facts...any embryonic tissue separated from the womb in the first trimester will cease to develop. Separated from the womb, there is no life in the tissue that is growing.

Some of us are rational people who are far more apt to believe in what science can prove rather than what some supposed-omnipotent creation of man has dictated as "gospel".

Get over it.

[Julie]

Hey RN, what's the color of the sky on the planet you live on? Come over here, the real world is in THIS direction. (points)

[Christine]

I don't understand the point of picketing abortion clinics. Why would you want to cause more hurt to people? I think it is a tragedy that there are circumstances where the best option is abortion. But wouldn't it work better if instead of picking on everybody, we took care of them? Instead of picketing abortion clinics, people stood outside and said I'm sorry you had to go through this, what can I do to help you? And I mean actually help them them not be all like Read a bible, Jesus loves you Oh and P.S. you just killed your sweet innocent baby. Thats crap. We need to fix society so that there isn't a need for abortions. If people don't care about the quality of Life for adults, why the hell would they care about a baby that isn't even born yet?

[RN]

Abstinence...100% FREE! Birth control pills are expensive? How much is the abortion? Except for the instance of rape or severe genetic anmolies there is no excuse for abortion. Cross your legs!

[Mwezzi]

I'm very glad my parents decided to keep me. Despite multiple family dispute and siblings I don't exactly get along with, life has been great for me, and my parents are to thank for it.

However, had my parents been in a situation where they'd be unable to provide a good home, loving parenting and an acceptable quality of life, and had my mother have been hurt by my birth, I would rather she had aborted me than go through so much suffering only to be unable to provide for me. There are far too many children who are unwanted by the prospective adopters, childless couples and with no parents around. They go through hell each day. Other remain with unloving parents. They also suffer for it. Some have loving parents who are finding it so hard to cope that everyone suffers as a result. I'd rather I did not come into this world than have to hurt others simply through my existence. I would feel guilty for the rest of my life, and so would the parents. No-one needs or wants that. Better a good quality of life for my parents than a bad life for the whole family.

[pro-lifegirl]

Over 3,500 terminations per day, 1.3 MILLION per year in the United States alone.
50 or 60 MILLION per year World Wide.

I am a pro-lifer who has no religious convictions at all . I didn't need the fear of god or anything else to come to my decision, just a good sence of what is right and wrong.
You see we were all once a fetus. Is it beyond the realm of possibilities that when your mother first learned she was carrying you, she may have considered her options? What if she had decided to terminate? Would that have been OK?
You would not exist, if you have children they would not exist, and your (husband or wife) would be married to someone else. You would have been deprived of all your experiences and memories. In this day and age with terminations being so readily available and so many being carried out, if you make it to full term
you can consider yourself lucky. Lucky you had a mother that made the choice of life for you. Don't you think they all deserve the same basic human right, LIFE?
I'm all for contraception, prevention is certainly better than termination.
Did you know you can get an implant that is safe, 99.9% effective, and lasts for three years? Just think girls not even a show for three years, wouldn't that be great? I think too many people rely too heavily on the last option (abortion), I think if abortions weren't so readily available people would manage their reproductive system far better resulting in a fraction of the number of unwanted pregnancies.
World wide there are over 50 MILLION aborted pregnancies each year. In America 3,500 terminations carried out every day, that's over 1.3 million every year, 50% of all cases claimed that birth control had been used, 48% admitted they took no precaution, and 2% had a medical reason. That's a stagering 98% that may have been prevented had an effective birth control been used. Don't get me wrong, I suspect the percentages in Australia would be much the same.
Just a lot of unnessessary killing.

At the point of conception is when life began for you. This was the start of your existance. Your own personal big bang. Three weeks after conception heart started to beat. First brain waves recorded at six weeks after conception. Seen sucking thumb at seven weeks after conception.

I am convinced that in the not too distant future, people will look back at many of the practices of today with disbelief and horror.

[jen]

what an amazing post! It really does sound like a reality show. It's so real, and I can "hear"/"see" every one of those women.

I can remember a time as an RN that my insurance wouldn't cover my birth control. I was a single mom to a toddler and was terrified of getting pregnant.

yes, i'm catholic...... and yes, i'm soooooooo glad that a woman has the right to choose!!

[reddest]

Adoption is an alternative to parenting, not to gestation and giving birth.

Deciding to carry a pregnancy to term and then deliver isn't some light thing. Gestation has permanent, sometimes detrimental effects on a woman's body on more than just a cosmetic level. Nine months isn't just a mere inconvenience. There is a whole host of conditions from fistula to abruption to hemmorhage to gestational diabetes. There is the risk of death or permanent injury.

If a woman decides she does not want to parent and gives the born child up for adoption, that's fine. It's her decision. But no woman should ever be forced to gestate.

[lifechoicegirl]

TRUTH HURTS- But not as much as some things.....

[Pandora]

"I can't help but wonder how many women she condemned, how many women she saddled with horrible guilt for "being selfish" when they came to this conclusion and walked into the abortion clinic she was picketing."

She must be one powerful woman if picketing a clinic can cause all of this.

[Mom of Three]

If 1.3 million couples are waiting to adopt, why are there millions of children in the US alone awaiting homes? Because many of those 1.3 million want tiny white babies.

I feel that the entire abortion "debate" should be tabled until every unwanted child in this world has a healthy, safe home. Period. Until then, it's just lip service from these people. These are the same people who protested the morning after pill. Short sighted.

[pro-life boy]

I do what I do for Adam.....and all others like him.

[pro-life boy]

Gee-woman
Don't you think it ironic that 1.3 million couples look to adopt while similtainiously 1.3 million perfectly good but unwanted babies are put to death in your country......SHAME.....

[gewoman]

And out of all of those couples seeking to adopt, how many are unwilling to adopt children beyond the age of infancy or who have handicaps? It is not the obligation of any woman to donate her body to helping couples who want the perfect suburban life (not an opportunity to help humanity). The statistics of children who go starving each day have already been shown. There is an overwhelming population of children and young adults in America's (not to mention the rest of the world) adoption programs. If people are so eager for there to be more humans on this earth, then why are they not taking care of them like they would their own children?

I am actually very pro-adoption, so please no one take offense to my first comments. I merely mean to show that just because there are people looking to adopt a child, does not mean that there are no children to adopt b/c all of us baby-hating, devil-loving feminists refuse to contribute to the overpopulation of unwanted children in this world!

[aus blog]

UPDATE - 1.3 million couples in america at this point in time are seeking to adopt. (that is scary)

[aus blog]

Looks like your Dems have the idea......

[aus blog]

Forgot to mention the Howard Govt is subsidising the cost of their birth control ( ongoing) to all who qualify for a benefit.