money and attitude

I like to think of my self as a pretty calm, unflappable person, but every once in a while something seems so outrageous to me that I go on a rant. Well, today, this woman, who we found was 12 1/2 weeks came to us for help. She did not qualify for the state insurance which would have covered the abortion because she made a couple of hundred a month too much for the cut off.

So, we reduced our fee to half. She asked her supervisor for an advance on her weekly income of $200. She said she could give us $150. Our clinic has a fund and we gave her $50 toward the fee. Now she only needed $90.

There are over 100 funds in the US especially for women who need financial help to get an abortion. Their group is called the National Network of Abortion Funds and their website is www.nnaf.org. Each fund is always strapped for money but they raise what they can on volunteer power and staff funding requests with mostly volunteers. Since there are so many, case management is done by a national hotline.

Our patient, Tawna, called me in tears after talking to them. "They said they don't have any money," she cried, "I just can't have another baby!! I have two, and I am working, and I just moved here."
So, I called the hotline. They wanted to know what her situation was, "if there was something unusual going on. And what about her partner, did he know that he would be responsible for child support payments for the next 18 years?"

One thing we cannot stand when we give out money from our fund is the sob stories. We say, "Don't tell me the desperate straits of every person. If you say she needs our $50, it's yours if we have it." It feels so demeaning to lay someone's life mess out there for everyone, as if your story might not be good enough. But I found myself arguing Tawna's case, telling them all about her situation, how her b/f wanted her to have it and wasn't in support of her having an abortion. About how she had asked her mother, her sister, had no friends here. Well, this woman on the phone said, well, do you have any jewelry, clothing, or a TV to pawn? Apparently working poor was not enough for them. (She did have a TV in her home, but it didn't belong to her.) Anyway, ultimately, she gave me more numbers to call so that I could call these funds myself, which I thought was her job.

So I called a fund that was based in a Planned Parenthood. After telling Tawna's sob story to three different people I talked to a Veep in charge of something or other, who said she would get back to me. Which she did, only to tell me that since they had not referred the patient to us, their fund could not help us.

Finally, I spoke to the NY Abortion Access Fund. I left a message with Tawna's "story" and a woman named Shawn called me back promptly. She didn't want all the gritty details of her life, she wanted to know how much we needed. "90 bucks," I said. "No problem," she said. I love these people!!!

OK, I admit I was ticked at the "I-just-had-my-soy-double-shot-cappucino" attitude of the first two people. But on reflection, I am angry that women have to grovel for healthcare, be the sob story in someone's day, so they can fundraise a paltry amount to save a few women from forced motherhood. And remember, Medicaid covers abortion in a very few states, so if you are poor, basically, you don't have access to abortion. And, once I calmed down, I am sorry anyone has to be the tough guy who decides who gets money and who doesn't.

So, here is an invitation. Get out your checkbooks and write the most generous check you can to the NY Abortion Access Fund PO Box 7569 FDR Station NYNY 10150 www.nyaff.org or to the National Network of Abortion Funds at www.nnaf.org and look up the nearest fund near you. And tell THEM to be as generous as THEY can, and not just with their money.

-bon

Comments

[Zube Girl]

Thank you for making me aware of the National Network of Abortion Funds. I don't see any organizations for my particular region of Colorado, so I'm actually kind of interested in starting one up. It was something I hadn't thought of until I read this.

[slyvie]

i read regularly ( that means whenever you post! which i wish was more often...ahem) and I just want to say Thank You for the work that you do. Reading through these comment threads is hard because I know that people with differing opinions want to be heard, but often, it seems, they want to be heard and right more than someone else. But I want to say as a woman who has had an abortion, as a woman who had complex feelings about the procedure and the aftermath that usually fall outside of the polarizing discourse of both the pro-choice and pro-life movement, that the real and very human and very sincere narrative you bring to this difficult decision and experience is so important. it might be hard to read detractors who dont want to give any ground, but i am thankful for this blog.

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