OurTruths.org

I think we have mentioned this new abortion zine before, but I wanted to talk more about the concept of women speaking out about their own abortion experiences. Lou and I believe that until women start speaking out about their experiences the complexity of decision making around pregnancy will never be understood fully. And when I say abortion experience I am talking about the decision, the actual abortion, and the after part--what meaning each woman put on her experience, what wisdom she may have discovered, what she thinks about her life and all that stuff. We believe that pregnancy decisions are profound and even thinking about whether or not to continue a pregnancy is an affirmative exercise. You are really choosing to have that child when you consider the possibility of not having it. When you decide not to have it, you are balancing the rest of your life as well as that potential life. Even the most blase patient I have seen (and they really are RARE) is choosing to stay on the path she is on, making a choice for her life course in a way that makes it valued. It makes for a more conscious life, I think, even though you have to grapple with hard hard choices. Why we heap judgment and disdain on these women for their life choices is beyond me--I have never met a woman who is not TRYING to make her life--and her family's life--BETTER.

But I also welcome the scrutiny of abortion clinics. I always cringe when I read comments like the recent one here--the clinic I went to did not have counseling, it was cold etc etc. Medicine reacts to consumer demand like every other service and if the topic of abortion were not so taboo, women would have a lot to say and it would help the quality of services provided.

But I digress... Our Truths/Nuestras Verdades is about to have its premier issue of writings from women who have had abortions and their allies. It is to be in English and Spanish and both in print and online at www.ourtruths.org. You can get subscription and distribution information about it on the website. Read it, support it, and efforts like it, so that each woman's truth can be heard.

Comments

[Naaman]

Sarah, the reason for honesty is that there is a lot of half-truth and falsehood surrounding human development in the womb. Especially in the early stages of pregnancy, when the developing human being is smallest and easiest to misidentify.

For example, you said that your 9-week-old child was "an undifferentiated clump of cells." This is inaccurate. The University of New South Wales (in Australia) has an informative Embryology resource online. They have pictures and detailed information about 8-week-old human embryoes: http://embryology.med.unsw.edu.au/wwwhuman/Stages/stage23.htm . The features of a 8-week-old human embryo include: "scalp vascular plexus, eylid, eye, nose, auricle of external ear, mouth, sholder, arm, elbow, wrist, toes separated, sole of foot, umbilical cord." At 9 weeks' old, your child would have been at least that advanced, and probably more so.

Whoever told you that your 9-week-old child was merely a clump of undifferentiated cells was either misinformed or lying. He or she was recognizably human, had many of the same features as adult humans, and was quite alive. We can argue about the morality and/or legality of abortion until the apocalypse, but the scientific facts are quite clear.

[Sarah]

I have problems with this idea that "Just that we need to be honest in the language that we use". Because each of us use different language to describe our experiances.

I had an abortion about 9 weeks in. It was not a REAL child or an ACTUAL life, it was an undifferentiated clump of cells. I'm not sure what happened to it afterwards, it went wherever medical waste goes I guess. I never did and never refered to it as a baby or a child because I honestly dont think it was.

So I resent this ideology that you and many pro-lifers like to push onto me where I have to refer to something that I don't think was a baby as a baby. In doing that we give social legitimacy to it, and it becomes a horrible thing. Killing a baby and killing cell tissue have very different ramifications in our culture.

But the bottom line is that IT WAS NOT A BABY to me. It was a clump of cells. Insisting that we refer to it as a fetus or a real life or a baby or a child isn't honesty, its imposing your definitions on the debate. We can discuss our different interpretations of the event, but both are opinion, neither is true or honest and neither is false or a lie.

[C]

Anne B., please do not take offense to this, but I am curious: do you agree that you are a murderer because you killed your unborn child?

That may sound horribly insensitive to your personal plight, but my point is this: what makes your abortion story any different than the stories of the other women out there? What makes your abortion okay and their abortion not okay or less okay?

I absolutely believe your abortion was okay and necessary and clearly in your best interest, and I am truly very sorry you lost your child. I mean you no harm. I am simply trying to get at some of the hypocrisy of the anti-choice movement, namely, that abortion is bad when other people do it, but abortion is okay in my situation. How can we possibly judge other people when we can't stand in their shoes and know their circumstances? You had a terrible choice to make, but you made it and you should not have to answer to anyone you don't want to (including me) about that choice. Neither should any other woman.

[Anne Basso]

At least be honest. A woman isn't comparing or balancing her life against a POTENTIAL life. She's balancing it against an ACTUAL life. An egg or a sperm might be potential, but the unborn child is an actual living human being (or organism if it better suits your sensibilites).

I induced and delivered my daughter at 22 weeks. She had a terminal condition and placed my health at risk. People called me a murderer. She could NEVER live outside of my body. I had to balance my health and my children's mother against her life that could never be without me, no matter how long I carried her. Her brain wasn't put together to fulfill that function. But she was a real life.

When I held her in my arms she was a REAL child. She was put in a REAL casket and buried in the REAL earth. And I REALLY miss her. Even though nothing I could do could help her. And she didn't have value because I wanted her. She had value because she was Sarah. She had value just by virtue of being. As we all do.

Yes, I believe abortion is not a good choice. Yes I still consider myself pro-life. But this comment isn't about that at all. Just that we need to be honest in the language that we use. Otherwise we're just kidding ourselves.

[maia]

Found your blog tonight and have spent some time reading. So fantastic. Your honesty, experiences and wisdom. Women NEED the right to choose. No two ways about it. Pat on the back to you for making the process easier on our fellow women, whatever they choose.