god understands

today i had the opportunity to talk to a woman whose life has been very hard.  she was born with cerebral palsy and has managed to find ways to live with it that are commendable.  she does not bemoan her lot and, in fact, seems quite happy that she has been able to have three living children, although one did die shortly after birth.  all of her children have either heart valve problems or seizures or both, therefore needing special care. 

when, much to her dismay, she found that she was again pregnant, she said she knew what she had to do. she said "i am a christian but i know that god would not want me to continue this pregnancy."  each time she is pregnant, her cerebral palsy worsens, with further damage to her spine.  she wants to have her tubes tied, but does not have the money to pay for the surgery.

she has a 5 month old child, along with the two others living, and says that she has her hands full.  her partner's work keeps him on the road much of the week so she is on her own until his return.

so, she said, although she never ever imagined that she would consider abortion, she finds that it's best for the children she has because she has been told that to continue this pregnancy could put her health in further jeopardy.    she said she regrets that she is again pregnant, had been using condoms because she knew that she did not want to be pregnant.  unfortunately, she, like many others, became pregnant while using contraception.

her faith in god's understanding came out a deeply held belief that she was god's child and that he would not want to see her children without her, sent off to foster homes.  she said that she did not even have to think very much about it, that it was just "the right thing to do".

there were many like her today.  many had situations that made it clear that continuing a pregancy that they had done their best to avoid occurred anyhow.  if you figure that every woman has at least 30 years of fertility, and that most of those months of her life birth control could fail her, it's a wonder that there aren't more accidental pregnancies.  on the other hand, why is it that every industrialized city in the world has a much lower rate of birth control failure?  is it because birth control is more available?  is it because they understand how their bodies work better?  is it because both partners assume part of the responsibility for contracepting and therefore many women have "double protection"?  os it because women are taught that it is a good idea to prevent pregnancies and the govenrments do all they can to help her?  whatever the reason, more women in this country have to contend with pregnancies that they are unprepared to continue.

so, she had her abortion and happily went home to her children.

lou

Comments

[Trope]

Ol Cranky:

Thank you. I hadn't considered that possibility before. As we polarize, it's often difficult to remember that there may be those on the other side of the debate from us who are doing G-d's work.

[Ol Cranky]

Laura:

You make a great assumption yourself in claiming to have a better understanding of G-d's plans. Ever hear the phrase G-d works in mysterious ways"? He does not always work in a clear and straight forward way. If you believe He is omniscient and that He does not make mistakes, He was aware of what the pregnancy would do to her and what the thought process of her decision would be. He may have had a different purpose in mind to result from the pregnancy (and dare I say, the abortion) than having a baby.

[Laura]

I just had to write and say that I am so saddened by this case. As much as this woman wanted to believe that God would approve of her abortion- I think she will learn differently when she meets Him someday. The Lord is soverign, and sometimes He allows things in our life to happen that are different than we would like or plan because He has plans for us. His plans are to prosper us and not to harm us (as declared by Jeremiah 29:11), and if this woman trusted Him- she would know that His plans are much better than ours! I am broken-hearted for this woman, and even more for the precious baby whose life was taken away by her choice.

[Maureen]

She couldn't get insurance to pay for her tubal litigation? And her disability gets worse with EVERY pregnancy?

I knew our health care system was bad. I just didn't know how bad.

[Farah]

For the record, were she Jewish any rabbi would support her. Judaism priorities the welfare of the mother and any children already living. They would regard hers as a godly choice.

[blondebutbright]

I really enjoyed this post. So often the issue of abortion is presented in black and white terms, and responding with "you have to be in their shoes" can sound like such a cliche. Perhaps if more dialogue like this were available attitudes could start to change.