The piece below appeared as an op ed piece in the New Bedford Standard Times on August 3, 2004, in response to an editorial that appeared in that paper about a Planned Parenthood tee shirt. Even though 43% of American women will have an abortion in their reproductive lifetimes, some folks still want abortion to be secret and shameful. But only by being honest and open about our abortion experiences so that we can hear that we are the sisters, mothers, daughters, aunts and yes, even grandaughters of those who had abortions. Only then will we find solace and acceptance in knowing that we need no longer be ashamed, no longer need hide that we made a choice for our futures, for our families' futures, made our choice because it was the right thing to do. Read the op ed piece below:
T-shirts don't have abortions -- people do -- but you wouldn't know it by the
controversy over the "I had an abortion" T-shirt recently sold (and
discontinued) by Planned Parenthood. Those who oppose the T-shirt argue that its
purpose is to "promote" or "advertise" abortion. What fresh threat is this -- will
women choose abortion as a fashion statement?
Betraying a tragic lack of imagination and frighteningly narrow assumptions,
the Standard-Times issued its own editorial condemnation of the
T-shirt. The paper's "Our View" on July 29 read as a scolding to anyone who
might wear the T-shirt to "celebrate" abortion as an "accomplishment."
Awkwardly defending abortion as an option that should remain legal but stigmatized,
The Standard-Times proved an interesting but unintended point -- it is not
possible to stigmatize abortion without stigmatizing the women who choose it. The
editorial concluded with the not-so-subtle suggestion that women who have
abortions are unintelligent. Lovely. Just lovely.
Unfortunately, we who argue about abortion -- and now, about
abortion-related apparel -- have a bad habit of insulting the very women whose interests we
claim to represent. It is all too convenient, for the sake of heated argument,
to invoke stereotypes and to assume the worst of women whose lives and motives
are "difficult to imagine." Difficult, maybe. Impossible, not. Let's try
harder.
First things first -- if you see a woman wearing a T-shirt that states, "I
had an abortion," it's a pretty safe bet she has not had one (yet). She might
still, one day, find herself among the 43 percent of American women who will
choose to end an unintended pregnancy at some point during their lives. These
millions of women are not shopping for T-shirts, mugs, bumper stickers or
Frisbees to summarize, advertise, promote or otherwise trivialize their experience.
Forget the T-shirt. It's going nowhere.
Why? Because contrary to so many unapologetically insulting assumptions,
women who have abortions are not silly, shallow, flippant or stupid.
They aren't looking for ways to help you ignore the complex reality of their
decisions, their circumstances, their lives or the lives of their families.
Abortion is one of very few (exactly three) solutions to the ultimatum of an
unwanted or dangerous pregnancy. Women don't take it lightly.
Finally and most importantly, if you think you don't know someone who's had
an abortion, you are almost certainly mistaken. Statistically, it's nearly
impossible not to know someone who has had an abortion. Who are they? They are
your sister, your daughter, your mother, your grandmother, your best friend, and
your wife. They are old and young and middle-aged. They are married and
unmarried. They are wealthy, poor, and middle-class. They are women of every race
and religion. They are high school drop-outs and university professors. They
are secretaries, pilots, CEOs, soldiers, teachers, bus drivers, beekeepers,
postal workers, and talk show hosts. They are newspaper editors. And yes, they are
anti-abortion protesters.
Women who have had abortions are not strangers to you. They are women you
already know very well. Most of them -- as many as two thirds -- have children.
They are women you respect, trust, and love. They are women you live and work
with. Look around and see how many women are not wearing T-shirts to tell you
they've had abortions. Yes -- that's them.
Victoria Tepe is an author and editor living in New Bedford.
This story appeared on Page A12 of The Standard-Times on August 3, 2004.
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