abortionclinicdays

adoption

shannon, i was so sorry to read about the mistreatment of the birth mother in your adoption case. please please contact the social services dept of the hospital for support for all of you and write a letter to the president of the hospital outlining what happened. you are right, that should not happen. adoption can be a blessing for everyone involved and those nurses need to be re-trained or moved to another service.

i'd like to wish you, your baby, the birth parents all love, blessings, grace, understanding and healing.

lu

another way to look at it

writing again as a long time abortion provider, i'd like to posit the following: to some extent most abortions have some element of "convenience" AND some element of "compassion". for example, it may be "convenient" to not carry this pregnancy at this time for various reasons (and i resist naming them because i believe that all reasons are valid simply because they are valid to the woman [and partner, family members, husband, friend, making the decision]). what might seem like "compassion" to me might seem like "convenience" to you, and vice versa. people's lives are generally pretty complex and until you sit and listen to their stories, you only get the facts, not how it really is on a daily basis. i am thinking, for example, of a woman i spoke to a few weeks ago. she has one severely handicapped child already and caring for him takes most of her waking hours every day and will the rest of his/her life. even with insurance, she and her husband pay out thousands of dollars every month for the things that are not covered. the current pregnancy which they had tried to avoid using an approved method of contraception may or may not have the same birth defects. and, if she waited another month and a half, testing could be done to tell them whether the child would or would not have those same defects. but she and her husband don't want to know, don't want to talk to anyone about it, have decided that they are stretched to their limits and another child, even a "normal" child would take away from the child they now have. everyone in the family would suffer. so, is that conveniece or compassion?? i say, it just doesn't matter. all reasons are valid, all choices have their own honor, their own integrity.

in addition, there are many many women i see each week who desperately want to continue the pregnancy, desperately want this baby, but they must give it up. and i'm not talking here about defects, but about other realiities in their lives. since so many of our patients are older, not teens, many of them are single parents, raising their children alone and ALSO CARING FOR AGING, ILL PARENTS. you can't imagine how many women have an abortion (whether a single parent or not) who are in that type of situation. i hear that they would love this baby, but working full time, then coming home to care for kids, parents, takes all their time, all their energy and they just cannot take on more. is that convenience or compassion??

i say, just don't ever think that because a woman is choosing abortion that it means she doesn't love her baby, that she hasn't talked to it, told it of her love, prayed for it, begged it for forgiveness. she may have done those very things.....and how would we know????

lou

third abortion related story this week from nyt

this was quite a week for those who follow the national media and their coverage of abortion-related stories. attached below is the op ed piece written by barbara ehrenreich in today's new york times. she references the article that appeared on sunday about TV's "last taboo" being abortion and she provides a link to the original article. in addition, there was another piece that ran last week in the times about a woman who found out she was carrying triplets and decided that one baby was enough for her so she chose to have the other two fetuses aborted (WHEN ONE IS ENOUGH). i think that this increasing openness and honesty is a good thing. even though 43% of american women willl have an abortion before they reach the age of 45, the media still treats it as though it's rare, shameful, or should be punished. even if i am repeating myself here, i believe that these articles are worth reading, that each of them has a point of view a bit different from the others. but the conclusion of the ehrenreich piece, that women must stand up and say "yes, i had an abortion, i'm ok and it was the right choice for me" is perhaps ready for prime time. maybe women are ready to stand for what they believe in, particularly in light of the election since if bush wins, he has made it clear that he wants abortion to be as difficult as possible to obtain, even if it is (so far) guaranteed by our constitution. as more and more women are choosing abortion as a result of advances in intrauterine testing, i do not want their abortions to be seen as the "good ones" and yours, mine, my sister's, my daughter's to be seen as "not ok". the point of legal abortion is that each woman can choose whether this is a good time for her to bring a new life forth or not. who can second guess these decisions???

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July 22, 2004
GUEST COLUMNIST
Owning Up to Abortion
By BARBARA EHRENREICH

bortion is legal - it's just not supposed to be mentioned or acknowledged as an acceptable option. An article in The Times on Sunday, "Television's Most Persistent Taboo," reported that a Viacom-owned channel is refusing to run the episodes of a soap opera in which the teenage heroine chooses to abort. Even "Six Feet Under," which is fearless in its treatment of sexual diversity, burdens abortion with terrible guilt. Where are those "liberal media" when you need them?

You can blame a lot of folks, from media bigwigs to bishops, if we lose our reproductive rights, but it's the women who shrink from acknowledging their own abortions who really irk me. Increasingly, for example, the possibility of abortion is built right into the process of prenatal care. Testing for fetal defects can now detect over 450 conditions, many potentially fatal or debilitating. Doctors may advise the screening tests, insurance companies often pay for them, and many couples (no hard numbers exist) are deciding to abort their imperfect fetuses.

The trouble is, not all of the women who are exercising their right to choose in these cases are willing to admit that that's what they are doing. Kate Hoffman, for example, who aborted a fetus with Down syndrome, was quoted in The Times on June 20 as saying: "I don't look at it as though I had an abortion, even though that is technically what it is. There's a difference. I wanted this baby."

Or go to the Web site for A Heartbreaking Choice, a group that provides support for women whose fetuses are deemed defective, and you find "Mom" complaining of having to have her abortion in an ordinary abortion clinic: "I resented the fact that I had to be there with all these girls that did not want their babies."

Kate and Mom: You've been through a hellish experience, but unless I'm missing something, you didn't want your babies either. A baby, yes, but not the particular baby you happened to be carrying.

The prejudice is widespread that a termination for medical reasons is somehow on a higher moral plane than a run-of-the-mill abortion. In a 1999 survey of Floridians, for example, 82 percent supported legal abortion in the case of birth defects, compared with about 40 percent in situations where the woman simply could not afford to raise another child.

But what makes it morally more congenial to kill a particular "defective" fetus than to kill whatever fetus happens to come along, on an equal opportunity basis? Medically informed "terminations" are already catching heat from disability rights groups, and, indeed, some of the conditions for which people are currently choosing abortion, like deafness or dwarfism, seem a little sketchy to me. I'll still defend the right to choose abortion in these cases, even if it isn't the choice I'd make for myself.

It would be unfair, though, to pick on the women who are in denial about aborting "defective" fetuses. At least 30 million American women have had abortions since the procedure was legalized, mostly for the kind of reasons that anti-abortion people dismiss as "convenience" - a number that amounts to about 40 percent of American women. Yet in a 2003 survey conducted by a pro-choice group, only 30 percent of women were unambivalently pro-choice, suggesting that there may be an appalling number of women who are willing to deny others the right that they once freely exercised themselves.

Honesty begins at home, so I should acknowledge that I had two abortions during my all-too-fertile years. You can call me a bad woman, but not a bad mother. I was a dollar-a-word freelancer and my husband a warehouse worker, so it was all we could do to support the existing children at a grubby lower-middle-class level. And when it comes to my children - the actual extrauterine ones, that is - I was, and remain, a lioness.

Choice can be easy, as it was in my case, or truly agonizing. But assuming the fetal position is not an appropriate response. Sartre called this "bad faith," meaning something worse than duplicity: a fundamental denial of freedom and the responsibility that it entails. Time to take your thumbs out of your mouths, ladies, and speak up for your rights. The freedoms that we exercise but do not acknowledge are easily taken away.

How do you spot the bad apple?

Well, here's an interesting news story that you might want some behind the scenes info on... Dr. Steve Brigham of American Women's Services, and several other names that sound a lot like other more reputable clinics, has just lost his doctor in Erie PA. He himself has surrendered his license in PA, lost it in NY, and for some reason, still has it in NJ. He lost one doc in the spring because, it turned out he didnt HAVE a license. Now his remaining doc quit or was fired depending on who you talk to. He had his DEA certificate suspended or revoked for prescribing some narcotic for a family member. Allegations are flying back and forth about standards and quality, which with these guys is splitting hairs, since they don't seem to abide by any of the current standards of quality.

Now, some folks have said that pro choice activists or abortion clinics have stood by and let these folks practice. NO NO NO! In town after town, I assure you the providers we know have encouraged patients who have had terrible treatment to call the state health dept and report the clinic. Health depts have been called directly. Hospitals and physicians have been given the heads up and know first hand some of the problems. Reporters are fully informed. But, these "bad apples" are still going strong.

What's up?? Well, first of all there are medical standards that are set out for abortion practice. There may be a variation about some good practices, but there are several certifications a clinic could have. The National Abortion Federation enforces its standards with inspections. Many surgi centers have Triple A certification. Most insurance companies have some kind of quality assurance program. The National Coalition of Abortion Providers doesn't accredit but does encourage and educate about quality services. And, there are basic dept of health standards, lab regulations through CLIA, and all sorts of other regulations. We don't need more regulation, especially the kind that is designed to drive abortion services to close their doors and applies to no one else. And of course, there are state boards in every state to ensure that doctors-- any kind of doctor-- are upholding basic medical ethics and standards.

What then? This won't solve everything, but hey, what about caveat emptor? The solution, as is so often the case, is in our hands as consumers. In the case of abortion services, the stigma and silencing that women endure makes the field wide open to non quality providers. The lack of health care funding, and coverage by Medicaid in most states, makes women ask more about price than about complications or pain management. This is wrong and women are suffering!

Why is it profitable to offer awful services? I can't tell you how many times a day people call and say how much is an abortion and then hang up and call another clinic. Comparison shopping is fine but when one clinic is $150-200 and the others are in the $350-400 range, you gotta wonder. Don't you? These clinics prey upon women who don't feel they can ask their friends, "what's the best place to go?" Just for the record, you can get referrals from your physician, a local Planned Parenthood (which also does site visits at least), or Family Planning agencies. The phone book and the internet are not enough!!! And ask questions. Visit the place if you can. Trust your instincts. Leave if you are not comfortable. Please be careful!

follow-up: state with no law

a while back (april 19, 2004), i wrote about a strange situation in which a sperm donor became, much to his surprise, the father of triplets. more information has become public in the case and it points out even more the need for laws to protect the parties involved, but mostly the babies. in this situation, for the first time ever in the US, the egg donor has requested custody of the triplets. so now the egg donor, the sperm donor, and the surrogate are all claiming that the babies should go to them. you may recall that the sperm donor saw the babies once, left the hospital, and did not return to take them home. the surrogate mom therefore took them home with her and has had them since last november. now the sperm donor, aged 62, is stating that they should be his since he donated the sperm, paid thousands of dollars for tests and he contracted for them so that he and his 60 year old fiance could raise them.

the surrogate mom of course says that she bore them, has raised them so far, she loves them, and she is the only parent they have known. therefore she should be the one to keep them. the egg donor, believed to be a college student from texas, has indicated that she wants them even though many suspect that she will turn them over to the sperm donor since she does not really want to parent.

but the legal issues raised are quite unusual. the implication is that if an egg donor can seek custody, then they could also be liable for child support. because this state's law does not address any of these issues, the question of who really is the parent will only be decided by the courts. one would hope that the law will quickly catch up with present technology to protect the most vulnerable, the babies. i continue to be upset with the lack of protection for them and hope that providence, somehow, allows them to end up in the best place for them.

for natalie

hi natalie,

in order for you to read the brochures that we use at our clinic, i am sending you the websites to access all of thier written info. i apologize but i do not have a scanner and could not therefore send all of them off to you myself. in addition, i figured that there might be other readers of this blog who might want to read what's avaibable online.

we use and refer women to www.catholicsforchoice.org and www.rcrc.org (the latter is religious coalition for reproductive choice). in addition, we use www.pregnancyoptions.info which will lead you to a decision-making workbook that is quite helpful, even after your abortion.

check these sources out and then let me know if they are helpful to you or if you want something more, something specific and i'll do my best to get it to you. i am happy to help you in any way i can.

lou

Statement about arson

Hi, I mentioned the arson at the Florida clinic that colleagues of mine own and work. I don't think the media ever really gets any of us in our own words, so I thought I'd pass on their statement to the media. I've also included the place to send any donations for re-building that you might want to send their way---or gestures of encouragement are also extremely valuable for staff at times like these.

The family owners of WomanCare Center in Lake Worth wish to issue the

following statement which will also be read at the Press Conference:

PRESS STATEMENT

While our neighbors and friends and people all over the country were

preparing to celebrate our nation’s birthday and our hard-earned rights and freedoms,

someone else was planning to terrorize us right here. Someone singled out

WomanCare Center and planned to destroy us with by fire. Someone came in the dark

of night to hide their identity. Someone acted without concern for the safety

of and, in fact, endangered the safety of our residential neighbors. Someone

decided to reduce to ashes, both this facility and the right of women to

receive reproductive health services here at WomanCare.

We are still in shock. This is a place where women and their loved ones came

for many services, from pap smears to breast exams to abortions; for

non-judgmental counseling and referrals. There is no doubt that seeing it in ashes

takes the wind out of us. At the same time, our commitment to our patients is

stronger than ever and we are, today, coordinating services with medical providers

in our community.

We are extremely grateful to our neighbors who reported the late- night fire

so quickly and to the rapid response of our firemen, our local law

enforcement, federal marshals and agents of the BATF. No one person or group has yet been

identified as responsible for this act of terror and many possibilities are

under consideration. We will not speculate at this point so early in the

investigation.

Everyone worked hard to save our building, but we fear the attack has made

the building structurally unsound. As members of the National Coalition of

Abortion Providers (NCAP), the terrible news was sent to other abortion providers

nationwide. Colleagues from across the nation have quickly responded, offering

support and sharing advice from their own personal experiences with such acts

of terror. Our own local community has stepped forward to offer aid and to

work to help us quickly rebuild or open in a new location. In fact, local

physicians have called to say they will ensure our scheduled patients receive full

reproductive health services, including abortion care services.

Today, as we stand in the soot of our nation’s firework celebrations, we also

stand in the ashes of one of our own freedoms. Today, we see again that

rights, once earned, must often be re-defended, and re-asserted to be protected.

Like many before us, we will re-open and will continue to fulfill our commitment

to women. Yes, we do need help. A Women’s Relief Fund is being created to

help us rebuild. As soon as that is established, we will let everyone know.

We want whoever did this to know that our love is greater than your hate. Our

desire to heal is stronger than your desire to destroy. Right now, we ask for

everyone’s prayers for peace and for healing.

If you are contributing send your check, made out to - WCWP Women's Relief Fund (or you
can spell out WomanCare of West Palm). Mail your check to:
WomanCare of West Palm
1622 North Federal Highway
West Palm Beach, FL 33460

firestorm

Sorry to be so out of it, I have been away. Lou, your response on confidentiality was right on. When i read some of the comments I felt physically sick that someone might feel exposed or used in some way by our site. I think most readers have noticed the care and respect we give our stories. And yes, that is the point of the site, to show what only we get to hear, the real stuff of pregnancy decisions. We think that this could make a difference in how people see abortion politics. Sometimes we feel like "confessors". the person that hears things no one else does, and it is frustrating when people say stupid things about abortion and the women who have them, and we can't tell the real story. It's also why it is so important for us to try to influence other clinics and other abortion providers to understand the profound nature of their work.

You may be interested to know that more and more clinics share our approaches, and yet, it is not a given that every clinic in the country "gets it".

Here's a news flash, though, one of the clinics that really does get the importance of respecting women was just firebombed in Florida. The clinic is in a residential area and a fire was set through a window and pretty much totalled the building. Somehow I try to think that doing good work shields you somewhat from this kind of violence, but I guess that is a silly rationalization. Besides, it only takes one nut....although I believe that many basically good people, of differing beliefs, sometimes encourage that one nut. This clinic has a history of lots of picketing, 50-75 people at a time.

Think what that does to a woman who has done all this soul searching and then gets second guessed in the parking lot by a lot of judgmental folks. No wonder women want to keep abortions secret!!! Who wouldn't when this kind of stuff goes on? But, again, we are trying to turn that upside down.We want to tell the stories , with protections, just so people can see what it's like to be in a tough spot and make the best choice you know how to make for your life. We are more alike than not, and another woman's story could be mine...or yours.
Bon