shannon, i was so sorry to read about the mistreatment of the birth mother in your adoption case. please please contact the social services dept of the hospital for support for all of you and write a letter to the president of the hospital outlining what happened. you are right, that should not happen. adoption can be a blessing for everyone involved and those nurses need to be re-trained or moved to another service.
i'd like to wish you, your baby, the birth parents all love, blessings, grace, understanding and healing.