Thursday, June 11, 2009

Women of the World

I just saw this posted online.  I do not know the author but I wanted to share it.   Don't know why some lines printed in black and some in blue.

Lu






Women of the World Vs. Ernie

 

1.

This is what I know about being a woman:

My body is coursing with estrogen,

I have a uterus.  My breasts fit nicely into bras

that shapes them into fashionable

things that men like to look at.

Once a month, my uterus lets go

of its contents and I bleed

for a few days.

 

2.

I am not immune to the stigma of the whole

thing.  I read Cosmo and think:

this is what I am supposed to look like.

this is who I am.

this is what I am supposed to buy.

this is what I am supposed to eat.

It goes on like this all the time.

I buy, I eat, I apply lipstick.

 

3.

The single man outside the abortion

clinic stands there with his sign.

He thinks he will change some minds today

because he has god and patriarchy

and a picture of a bloody fetus,

the force of his own stupid ego

on his side.

 

4.

Some of the women I know have abortions.

Real abortions, not the ones on the signs.

The kind that keep them up nights

going over it over and again.

We are all powerful

 and sometimes subjugated.

 

 

5.

They are my sister.

my best friend.

my next door neighbor.

The lady in line behind me

me at the grocery store-

we are in the express lane,

 she has 26 items.

the check-out girl, too--

she is pissed .

myself.

Me.

 

 

6.

He says it so clearly,

You need to be ashamed.

,

of it weakness,

of yourself,

of your woman-ness.

Keep this secret,

keep your mouth shut

And your legs closed.

 

7.

I no longer care what his real name is—

I will call him misogyny.

Does he speak to his mother

with that mouth?

In my dreams she is washing out

his mouth with soap.

 

8.

This is what I want misogyny

with his sign to know: 

I want what I want.  I need what I need.

This body is a gift from that same god.

He gave it to me because he knew

I could be trusted.

He said to me in a prayer:

You know what to do, and when.


Written by Bridget.

Monday, June 01, 2009

Kansas stories

The early media messaging about Dr. Tiller seems determined to paint him as "that polarizing, controversial abortion doctor," nothing more. I did not have the honor of meeting Dr. Tiller, but I greatly admired his clinic. In all the conversations I've had with colleagues and staff, everyone keeps coming back to Dr. Tiller's kindness, his generosity and spirituality. They recalled hearing him talk about really listening to women's stories, about the importance of ritual for families who are grieving.

In honor of his life, let's not reduce his career or women's stories to caricature. One site which allows patients to share their complex experiences is Kansas Stories. These stories primarily focus on situations of fetal anamoly. These are average women. Dr. Tiller could have been your sister's doctor. Your wife's doctor. These are not "culture warriors," this is your math teacher, your girl scout leader, your best friend. 

As one woman writes: The reality is that abortion in the late second and third trimesters is extremely rare. The reality is that finding a doctor to do this procedure in the late second or third trimester is almost impossible. For me, the reality was that at the most painful time of my life I had to travel out of state, stay in a hotel room and face hostile protesters in order to carry out this most personal of choices.

-Nell


Sunday, May 31, 2009

Tiller Dead: "We Cannot Go Back"

It's happening all over again. The ritual that abortion providers go through when they learn that one of their own has been slain or terrorized by the anti abortion hate mongers. You're in your garden, or cleaning your garage, and you get a call from someone who is online. Then the phone calls begin...the disbelief, sobbing, remembering a very wonderful man. And eventually the anger. Although we are in shock, we are not surprised. Dr. Tiller has been targeted before and has spent most of his time defending himself against anti's at the clinic and in the Kansas government with several criminal complaints. In March he was acquitted of 16 counts of "failing to get a second opinion."

And many providers have noticed an increase in harassment outside clinics. So much so that providers have started Enough! Basta! Stop Bullying at Women's Clinics with a page on Facebook under that name. The group has raised about $2000 to put videos of harassment on the internet so that the public can understand the context of hate outside clinics. There is more information at the ACN website as well as a place to donate. To get directly to the FAcebook Cause page click here

If you are as saddened or as outraged as I am right now, make a donation, no matter how small, and share your feelings with your friends, co workers, and favorite blogs.

Beloved Doctor Murdered in Church

Faith Aloud Mourns the Murder of Dr. George Tiller

May 31, 2009

Abortion Provider Dr. George Tiller was murdered by a gunman who shot him point-blank while he was ushering in services at Reformation Lutheran Church in Wichita, Kansas.  His wife, Jeanne, watched in horror from the choir loft.


The clergy and members of Faith Aloud mourn the loss of this courageous, dedicated, and religious man.  He and his clinic had been the victim of violence many times before, yet he continued to provide women with desperately needed care.  As one of the few providers in the country for third trimester abortions, Dr. Tiller served many women who had planned pregnancies that had gone wrong.  He was deeply religious and his services to women and families at his clinic included the guidance of a chaplain.


"Dr. Tiller taught me so much about the spiritual concerns of his patients," said the Reverend Rebecca Turner, Executive Director of Faith Aloud.  "He was a kind, compassionate man who respected women and listened to them.   America cannot tolerate this kind of domestic terrorism.  We must put an end to the hostile rhetoric that fuels this kind of violence.  We must hold people accountable who bully women on the sidewalks of abortion clinics.  There is nothing "pro-life" about murder and nothing "Christian" about the hatred that fuels it.   My heart goes out to abortion providers all over our country who share in this tragedy."


Faith Aloud is an interfaith organization that supports women in all their decisions concerning problem pregnancies. 

posted by Lu

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Faith Aloud

Sorry for the long delay between posts.  We wish we could write more often but all of us who post are also involved in many other projects. Please know that we want to continue to share stories, information, news and sometimes, our experiences with the wonderful women and men we serve.  The other day something new came my way that I want to share with you.

Many of our patients and their support persons express spiritual concerns about forgiveness from God for choosing abortion.  We as abortion providers listen to them and try to point them to their own clergy. If they have none, or are afraid to talk to their minister, priest, rabbi, or imam, we can refer them to Faith Aloud.  While Faith Aloud is Christian in orientation, members of other faiths or with no affiliation can still find comfort there. You can leave a message at 1-888-717-5010 and a minister will call you back.

Rev Rebecca Turner, the founder of Faith Aloud, has created a DVD that some clinics have on site so you can view it before or after your abortion.  If you have some religious or spiritual concerns, be sure to ask when you make your appointment if the clinic has this DVD.  Rev Turner also has a video accessible on youtube.com that you can access as often as you wish.  It's listed under Faith Aloud.  I'd like to hear your comments on this video if you care to write back. 

A few clinics even have a sanctuary for quiet reflection before or after an abortion. Some might have Bibles in English and Spanish as well as a Koran.  Before you make an appointment, you can ask if the clinic you are going to has a brochure addressing spiritual matters or a Bible if these items are important to you. 

Following are two Bible verses that Rev Turner pointed out and I'd like to share them with you.

Psalm 145:8-9

The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love.

The Lord is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made.

Romans 8:38-39

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Peace,
Lu

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Valuing Life

Although the following piece has been out there for a while now, I have not been able to get it off my mind.  What does it mean to "value life"?  Whose life counts and whose does not?  As an abortion provider, I want every patient, every support person, to know that I honor not only her but also the life within her.  Let us imagine only the best for this young child who has been degraded both by her stepfather and by her religion.  Let us wish only for healing.

Lu

Abortion More Serious Crime than Rape, Says Vatican

Elisabeth Garber-Paul on March 11, 2009 - 2:16pm
Elisabeth Garber-Paul's picture

On March 4, a nine-year-old, 80-pound girl, pregnant with her stepfather’s twins, was brought into a hospital in Brazil's northeastern city of Recife where doctors performed an abortion. The girl had been raped by the 23-year-old man, according to CNN International, who had been abusing the girl since she was six years old—and had also sexually abuse the girl’s 14-year-old handicapped sister. In Brazil, abortion is only legal in cases of rape, or where the mother’s life is in danger—both of which applied to this situation.

However, the Vatican has gone ahead and excommunicated the doctors who performed the abortions, and the mother of the girl—“everyone involved,” according to Jose Cardoso Sobrinho, the region’s Archbishop—everyone, that is, except the rapist. Abortion is an excommunicable sin, but not raping the 9-year-old girl who is supposed to be in your care? Forgive me if I fail to see the justice.

Luckily, President Luiz Inacio “Lula” da Silva has advocated for the rights of the girl. The president—who recently tossed condoms out to the Carnival crowds—has spoken out in support of the girl and the doctors, and even gone as far as to condemn the Vatican’s move, according to London’s Daily Telegraph. "As a Christian and a Catholic, I deeply regret that a bishop has had such conservative behavior," he told the paper. "In this case, medicine is more right than the Church."

Additionally, Brazilians have stepped up in the girl’s defense, petitioning online (in Portuguese) for themselves to be excommunicated in “solidarity with” the mother and the doctors.

Perhaps this is signaling a move in Brazil for more comprehensive family planning legislation. Right now, doctors in the highly Catholic country perform about 1 million abortions per year for those able to afford it, and hospitals are left to treat about 200,000 women suffering from complications after visiting clandestine clinics. Perhaps this ban on abortion is the will of the Church, and not the will of the people. It’s time for the Vatican to step back and see just how outdated their doctrines actually are; and with Spain and Brazil—two of the last Catholic strongholds left—moving towards the acceptance of abortion, maybe the Vatican will be forced to reconsider their stance. Or perhaps that’s just wishful thinking.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Choices in Childbirth

I've written in previous posts about attempts to preserve women's freedom to make medical decisions in birth as well as early pregnancy in several previous entries. The staff as Our Bodies, Ourselves has drafted a statement that has been signed by scores of medical professionals, advocates and activists, encouraging a new administration to preserve women's choices in childbirth.

The statement is here. If interested, you can add your name to the list of supporters. 

Here is an excerpt:

We urge the promotion of public policies that draw from the best available evidence in the maternity care field. Best practices in maternity care are well-described in an excellent new report issued by the Childbirth Connection, the Milbank Memorial Fund, and the Reforming States Group – Evidence-Based Maternity Care: What It Is and What It Can Achieve. Policy makers should also turn to model projects like the extraordinary example of the DC Birth Center in one of the poorest areas of Washington, DC, where prematurity has been halved utilizing the Certified Nurse-Midwife in a coordinated system of care with collaborating obstetrical specialists. (View the recent feature about its founder, Ruth Lubic.) We need to create more choices in childbirth that produce optimal outcomes along with safe and satisfying birthing experiences.


-Nell

Monday, January 12, 2009

How and Where to Contribute

I noticed that a number of readers, upon hearing of the need of emergency funding for Nell's patient, offered to make a donation.  For reasons of patient privacy, we cannot tell you who we are but I can tell you how to make a donation.  One organization that helps women nationally is WRRAP.  They are wonderful, just wonderful.  I could tell you so many stories of women they have helped!  Pregnant women who have lost their jobs, women who are homeless, women whose personal finances are committed to their children. Even working women sometimes earn too little to be able to pay for an abortion and still pay their rent.  WRRAP's staff is volunteer so whatever you donate goes right to the clinics for a specific woman whose situation we present to them.  Whenever WRRAP has money, they immediately spread it around!  And I have never seen such an increase in requests!

These days, with so many women losing their jobs, losing hours at work, losing their homes, the requests are greater than ever.  As a result, WRRAP is always short of funds.  Any amount you care to send will be so appreciated, is so needed!  You can go directly to their website (www.WRRAP.org) and contribute via Paypal as one of you wished to do.  Look for the link to Make a Donation. Or you can send a check directly to them at:

WRRAP
2934 1/2 Beverly Glen Circle
Box 169
Los Angeles, CA  91403

Anything you can spare will go to women just like DaShay.  Your contribution, added to those of others, will given out to women all across the US.  The need is great and the need is now.  Be as generous as you can.

Thank you for asking how you could help. 

Lu

Blessing for the Anniversary of Roe v. Wade

This was emailed to me by Rev. Rebecca Turner, the director of Faith Aloud. It was written as a blessing to be delievered each January 22nd at a clinic near her and she offers it as a gift to any clinic who would like a way to mark the anniversary of Roe v. Wade.

How beautiful, thank you Rev. Turner!

-Nell

Service of Blessing

January 22, 2009 
 

We stand here today as people of different faith traditions, but one in the presence of the Holy, surrounded by the love and goodness of the Divine.  We understand that bricks and mortar, steel and glass are but temporary things, but that day by day, by our presence and the presence of the living God, they become infused with the spirit of all who walk through these doors.

May God bless these doors and all who pass through them.

May these doors offer a welcome passage to all who seek to understand the miracles of their own bodies, to all who strive to make healthy lifestyle and medical decisions, to all who look for honest answers to complex questions.    

May these doors be for the professionals who work here a place of opportunity and challenge, a place to use their talents and develop new skills, a place to satisfy their innermost desires to be of holy service to others.   

May these doors be held in safety against the evil desires of any forces that wish to do harm; may all who walk through these doors be filled with strength for overcoming whatever malevolence they face. 

May these doors present to this community a symbol of care for the needs that are present in every human life, and may the community grow in its appreciation of and commitment to that care. 

May these doors be to us all a vision of hope for our future and our children’s futures.  As we celebrate 36 years of women having the right to make their own choices regarding motherhood, we pray for sound decisions throughout our nation that will continue to protect women’s choices.

God bless these doors and all who pass through them.  Amen. 


Rev. Rebecca Turner, Executive Director, Faith Aloud

One week left.

Can it be that we're really down to just a few days until the end of the Bush presidency? I can hardly believe it. The past eight years have been so hard for advocates of women's health, for those who work against poverty or for access to quality health care? Do I dare let myself get a little excited? The past few years have been bad news followed by worse. I'm wondering when we'll actually start to see some positive changes in the lives of the women we serve. I'm thinking of one mother I talked to today, in particular.

DaShay called up and asked for Plan B for her daughter Alia. I told her that it was actually available over the counter at any drugstore, usually for about $30-50.  She said that she didn't have the money to get it and thought that her insurance would pay for it if I sent in a prescription. She was pretty angry, cursing her daughter up and down for having sex. She asked me how Plan B worked. "When did your daughter have intercourse?" I asked. "Oh, she's about three weeks," DaShay said.

"Three weeks since the sex or do you mean that she's three weeks pregnant?"

"She's only three weeks pregnant." I explained to her that Plan B can prevent pregnancy if used within 5 days of unprotected sex by preventing ovulation, but that it would not have any effect if her daughter was already pregnant.

I told her that if her daughter did not want be pregnant, then she could end the pregnancy by having a surgical or a medically-induced abortion (by using the abortion pill--not plan B.) I asked her to put Alia on the phone and we realized that she was actually nearly 9 weeks pregnant and would be too far to do a medication abortion by the time she came in. Alia answered my questions slowly, but kept confirming that she did not want to be pregnant. Even though she was 17, she sounded younger. Mom was in the background shouting lots of questions, so I asked to speak to DaShay again.

"Look--my daughter has one baby and I got her baby. I adopted him because she can't care for him. She's got a disability, she can't care for herself, she can't learn, she was in special classes but went and dropped out. I been laid off. We only get a little bit of money for her disability. She can't have another baby! We are on welfare--do you hear me? WEL...FARE. WELFARE! Understand? We got nothing. Now what's this gonna cost? Thirty? Fifty dollars for the pills?"

Because of where she lived, DaShay's welfare would not cover the cost of an abortion. "Actually, it's going to be closer to $350," I explained again why it was different than needing Plan B. She started screaming at her daughter, "$350? What am I supposed to do! Where we gonna get money? Where'd that little boy go who said he's gonna help you?" 

When DaShay calmed down again, we went over her finances. She was right--they were just barely surviving. I don't know how she was making it work. We went through the steps to get her some emergency help from the National Abortion Foundation, but still weren't able to get the whole cost covered. We made a plan where she would try to come up with a portion and I would start calling around to some other emergency abortion funds to find part of it. We scheduled Alia's appointment for two weeks in the future, to give each of us a chance to try to come up with some more money. I'm still waiting for phone calls back from the emergency funds and I don't know what's going to happen.

All I know is I can't wait for a day when our national health care policy and our leadership can find a solution so that no woman's unplanned pregnancy creates this kind of crisis. After eight years of the Bush Presidency can you even imagine a world where women and mothers get their basic medical needs met? One week to go until a leadership change. Godspeed, President Obama! 

-Nell

1/13/08--I am going to add a postscript to this entry, because several readers have been distressed at the possibility that Alia may have been sexually abused or that she did not have the intellectual capacity to understand what was happening for her. I'm glad that our readers are concerned for her welfare. No woman should be forced or coerced into having an abortion, continuing a pregnancy or giving a child up for adoption. It is very important that women with special needs get extra time and care to ensure that they make decisions that they are comfortable with. For an example of how a counselor can work with a minor to ensure that she is not being abused, that she understands the medical care she will recieve and that her medical team and family come together to help support her, please see this entry that Lou wrote a few weeks ago.