abortionclinicdays

Goodness breeds goodness.....

Just a few days ago, the vile message of hate coming from the so-called prolife folks was spewing forth venom targeting Northland Family Planning for the new videos Northland created for patients and support persons.  I posted Charlotte Taft's beautiful response yesterday.

Now the spokesperson on the video entitled "Every Day Good Women Choose Abortion" is being particularly targeted.  "Thelma", as she calls herself, has written a response that you may find  comforting and loving so I'm posting it here for you.   If you'd like to see Thelma's video, check out the Northland Family Planning website on the upper right corner.  As we like to say, our love is greater than their hate.  Great job, Thelma!!  

Lu

______________________________________________________________

From Thelma:

I am known as "The Scooby-Doo looking Thelma," to a small, extreme portion of the anti-abortion movement (a friend pointed out this is inaccurate anyways, since the character on Scooby-Doo was Velma).

Vicious, hateful things have been said about NFP's "Every Day, Good Women Choose Abortion" video, the wonderful staff who work in these clinics, its Executive Director, women who have abortions... and me.

While I understand that the things that are said directly about the woman in the video are meant to be comments about the message and the pro-choice community at large, I am a person.  I am a human being.  I am a mother, a daughter, a sister, a wife, a friend... I am not just a face or voice on a screen.

And I have a voice.

The words they have attempted to demonize, to pervert, are not just the words of love, the words of courage and the words of a movement headed by the Abortion Care Network, and Northland Family Planning.

They are my words.

So, what I have to say is this:  the video speaks for itself.  It speaks for me.

The video speaks to women all over this country and the world who need it the most.

So let my actions in this world be my response to this hate.  Let my love for my family and friends, my commitment to women's rights and social justice, my passion for helping those less fortunate then I be my answer to this hate.

I have had an abortion.  I know the kind of woman I am.  Nothing can take that away from me.  And nothing can take that away from your sister, your friend, your wife, your daughter, and your mother who may have had to make the decision to have an abortion.

A dear friend of mine shared something with me tonight.  She told me that a friend of hers called her after she viewed the video.  And she told her "I had an abortion 5 years ago.  And this is the message I have been searching for.  I know I am a good person, and now I feel it in my heart."

Love will win over hate.

Truly,

Thelma

The Audacity of Goodness

Charlotte Taft wrote this piece for RhRealityCheck.  We think it's worth reprinting here. Now is the time for women to speak up about their abortions and not let themselves be intimidated by the hatemongers!

Lu

The Audacity of Goodness

When abortion provider Renee Chelian created a video called “Every Day, Good Women Choose Abortion” for her Northland Family Planning Clinics, all she was thinking about was what would be good for her patients.

Chelian, a long time member of the Abortion Care Network,  is the Executive Director of three clinics in Detroit. She has spent the last 33 years offering the highest quality medical care, combined with compassionate attention to her patients’ emotional well-being.  On her website a letter to patients includes these words:

The discussion that centers on a woman’s right to an abortion is so much bigger than any debate OR any law. It’s about my heart, a woman’s heart, and both the right and responsibility of bringing a child into the world... women of all ages need to make these decisions with people who care for them, people they trust.

A sign in the clinic reads: “We do sacred work that honors women and the circle of life and death. When you come here bring only love.”

Since the Roe v. Wade decision in 1973,  over 45 million women have had legal abortions in the United States. It is estimated that one in three women will have an abortion during her lifetime.

And for 36 years the anti-choice forces have waged a well-financed and nearly unopposed war of words to shame and demean women. They don't even try to hide their hatred and disdain for us. Outside our clinics the ‘sidewalk counselors’  scream "The blood from your crotch will rise up against you, you whores" , “Satan will drink your baby’s blood and you will die”, and "Loose women burn in Hell."

We can see from the shame and silence of 45 million women that the propaganda has been effective.

So, for Chelian, it only made sense to remind women of their own basic goodness. Her video reflects the truth that abortion providers know:

"Every day,  good women choose abortion", and "To have an abortion is a normal experience."

It reminds us that goodness is:

Courage, honesty, wisdom, risking for what you believe is right for you, making choices that you believe are good for yourself. Goodness is not perfection, it is not obedience, and it is not martyrdom. 

If you have made the decision to have an abortion, and are having a hard time feeling good about yourself and remembering that you are a good person, let us remind you and help you see the goodness in yourself and your choice.

She put the video on her website. But she wanted to reach more women.

When Renee posted the video on Youtube the anti's went ballistic.
The XM Satellite radio station WILCOW-XM has been playing the recordings over and over and telling their listeners to call and complain, which of course is jamming the clinic's phone lines.

The antis have bombarded the clinic with vile, unprintable attacks over the phones directed at the staff.  Comments on Youtube included:

“If you are ripped to shreds...just like the unborn children you’ve murdered...it would be just” and “Bottom feeding serial killers of unborn children with no voice to protest their murder!” and  “This is a very shallow attempt at pandering to weak minded people who would rather kill their children when it is inconvenient so the clinic can make more money.”

LifeSite, an anti-abortion on-line newsletter, headed its article “Michigan Abortion Facility Advertizes Abortion as ‘Sacred Work’”. Of course their conclusion was that “The videos are just the latest attempts by Northland to make abortion seem as attractive as possible.”

The fear-based hatred has been overwhelming.  For now Chelian has taken the video off  YouTube, but the horrible calls continue.  She is seeking help from authorities. The video  is still on her website, and will also be shown to each patient in the clinic.

Abortion providers have known the kind of people who make these calls for years. The rest of the country has just been introduced to them as they stalk health care, vilify and threaten the President, spread their bile and display their hatred. It is very important not to abandon women and the men who care about them to the cruelty of the anti abortion forces.

Their arguments are based on their belief that women are stupid--that we don’t know that abortion is about life and death---and that we do not recognize that it is not just our right, but our responsibility to decide whether and when to bring new life into the world through our bodies. Theirs is a bankrupt movement of moral hypocrisy. They lost even the claim to their own name when they started shooting us.

Whether it is Rene Chelian's "Goodness" videos, a banner that says, "When You Come Here Bring Only Love", a poster that reads, "We Honor Your Dreams", putting our patients' words in hearts on the walls, making patient journals available in our waiting rooms, or our willingness to acknowledge that of course abortion is a complex emotional experience, the antis react by attacking us because there is nothing else they can think of.

But America needs to hear from us.  When the experience and voice of independent providers and the women we serve is truly part of the national conversation about abortion we will see a transformation.

In 1964 the poet Muriel Rukeyser wrote “If one woman told the truth about her life, the world would split open.” She may have been over-optimistic about the power of the voice of just one woman.

But how about 45 million?

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Killing Dr. Tiller Again

I just got this statement from the Abortion Care Network about last night's truly awful Law & Order show. They say it better than I could (actually I had to turn it off!).

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE 10/24/09

Murdered Again
When the Independent Abortion providers who make up the Abortion Care Network learned that an episode of NBC’s Law and Order was going to be based on the May 31, 2009 assassination of Dr. George Tiller (a founding member of our organization), many of us were upset. We felt that no matter how his murder was ‘ripped from the headlines’ it was much too soon and too raw to turn it into a piece of popular culture. Now that we have seen it we are furious and deeply offended.

For many of us George Tiller was mentor, teacher, friend---he was known in our circles as ‘St. George’ because he embodied principles of goodness, kindness, respect, and faith--the best in us. He was a man of extraordinary principles and generosity. In a field in which courage and dedication in the face of hatred, violence, and terror are almost expected, Dr. Tiller stood out. He had been firebombed more than once, mercilessly harassed by legal officials who over and over came up with nothing, and survived a previous assassination attempt in which he was shot. He continued to do his work because women needed him.

So we are justifiably protective of Dr. Tiller’s reputation and honor. NBC concocted a dreadful hybrid that bears no resemblance to this truly amazing doctor. And they concocted a story that bears no resemblance to the complexity of the issues involved in abortion, let alone late abortion. NBC cannot hide behind the words, “The following story is fictional and does not depict any actual person or event when they begin their story by having a doctor murdered in his church. Their disclaimer should have read, “This story purports to be balanced but we are about to insinuate that a doctor who was assassinated was, himself, guilty of homicide, and thus to blame for his own murder.” This is particularly egregious because Dr. Tiller was the repeated victim of politically motivated investigation and was repeatedly found innocent of any wrongdoing related to his medical practice. This “fiction” casts doubt on his integrity, and gives the impression that abortion is homicide which U.S. law is clear that it is not.

No one knows the complexity of abortion more than abortion providers.  Independent Abortion providers provide 80% of abortions in this country---and an even higher percent of late abortions. We sit with women and hold their hands and listen to their stories and support them as they make the best decisions they can for themselves and their families.

This Law and Order episode was called “Dignity”. It treated us to the heart wrenching testimony of a woman whose values told her that the best way to honor herself and the doomed life she was carrying late in pregnancy was to bring the pregnancy to term and be there as her baby died. What was left out was the equally compelling, equally real, equally heart wrenching  testimony of real women whose values told them that the best way to honor themselves and spare suffering to the doomed life they carried late in pregnancy was to end that life. These women sought care from Dr. Tiller in the care of a compassionate physician and staff---a physician and staff who understand more than the writers of law and Order ever could what it means to want a baby and then lovingly let it go. The point of choice is that the woman herself gets to define what a death with dignity means to her. She and her family get to honor their own beliefs and values.

There is no balance here. We are shown the character of a woman D.A. who used to believe in Roe v. Wade, but was thrown into confusion by hearing of someone else’s experience. If we know anything it is that one person’s opinion or experience doesn’t tell us much about what we would do in that actual situation. A pro-choice perspective makes room for each woman to come to her own truth. Any other perspective forces someone to compromise their own integrity.

The Abortion Care Network brings the experience and voice of Independent Abortion Providers and the women we serve into the national conversation. This kind of truly fictitious television reveals just how needed that voice is.


       

Obvious Child

I know we're usually ultra serious about abortion in this blog, but I wanted to let people know about a romantic comedy that features abortion in a positive yet humorous light. It's called Obvious Child (and the Paul Simon song by the same name is featured) and it's about a young woman (Donna) who is dumped and in the consolation drunk hooks up with a guy and gets pregnant. Sort of like Knocked Up except the guy is basically a good soul.

Donna is not too conflicted about her decision--she doesn't even remember the guy's name-- and chalks it up to temporary stupidity. That allows for a certain light hearted inevitability. She confers with her girlfriend and asks, "Will it hurt?" She replies, "Not as much as the break up."

Unlike Juno (which I loved in spite of this scene) the abortion clinic is neutral, and the actual abortion is just her nodding off. The "recovery" has women not meeting each others' eyes (ah the stigma shows up) and I guess that happens, although in my experience recovery rooms are fairly friendly.

So check out Gillian Robespierre's Obvious Child and tell your friends. It deserves a wide audience. (in case the link doesn't work http://pandagon.net/index.php/site/a_rom_com_about_abortion/)

--bon

Obvious Child

I know we're usually ultra serious about abortion in this blog, but I wanted to let people know about a romantic comedy that features abortion in a positive yet humorous light. It's called Obvious Child (and the Paul Simon song by the same name is featured) and it's about a young woman (Donna) who is dumped and in the consolation drunk hooks up with a guy and gets pregnant. Sort of like Knocked Up except the guy is basically a good soul.

Donna is not too conflicted about her decision--she doesn't even remember the guy's name-- and chalks it up to temporary stupidity. That allows for a certain light hearted inevitability. She confers with her girlfriend and asks, "Will it hurt?" She replies, "Not as much as the break up."

Unlike Juno (which I loved in spite of this scene) the abortion clinic is neutral, and the actual abortion is just her nodding off. The "recovery" has women not meeting each others' eyes (ah the stigma shows up) and I guess that happens, although in my experience recovery rooms are fairly friendly.

So check out Gillian Robespierre's Obvious Child and tell your friends. It deserves a wide audience. (in case the link doesn't work http://pandagon.net/index.php/site/a_rom_com_about_abortion/)

--bon

Departures

I had an astonishing experience the other day.  On a whim I went to see a Japanese movie which won the Oscar for best foreign film earlier this year.  Entitled "Departures", it was a huge hit in Japan and I remembered only that it was the story of a young cellist whose orchestra disbands, forcing him to accept a highly stigmatized job.  So you get the connection even before I begin.  Being an abortion provider is also a stigmatized job.

Daigo, the ex-cellist in the movie, accepts a position preparing the dead for the undertaker.  In Japan, this work is done with the family in attendance watching their parent, child, or sibling being prepared for cremation.  Daigo's boss and mentor knew instantly that Diago would carry on the tradition of providing a loving, respectful honoring of the life that just ended.  Watching, I felt like my work assisting during abortion procedures was much the same as Daigo's.  I can't recall ever having these same feelings while watching a movie!

As a long-time abortion provider, I have so many thousands of times had the same experience of wanting to do all I could to respect the wishes of the woman yet honor the life within her.  Often it is possible to do both simultaneously since she might tell me how she loves her baby and longs to continue the pregnancy if only her circumstances were different. Women want my reassurance that I understand and will do as she requests.  I promise her and/or her partner that we always treat the pregnancies with respect, and agree to perform a baptism if asked.  Knowing that our clinic has that commitment to honor both lives allows me to love my job and how we offer our abortions.

Daigo, to his surprise, comes to love his work too.  Even when the townspeople taunt him and his new wife leaves him because of the shame of his work, he cannot stop.  Of course, this being a movie, his wife returns and is able to join with him honoring a deceased person who was important to her.  The cultural differences abound but the feelings are the same.  Those who have a calling for the work of attending to end of life processes will find it: think of hospice workers. 

I suspect that Dr Tiller would have loved this movie had he lived to see it.  This same respect for the passing of life moved him and kept him performing abortions despite the personal risks.  Transporting the intentionality to another culture through this young man, the cellist, will resonate with anyone who can find this movie in a theatre, online or via Netflix. If you do check it out, please post your thoughts here.

Lu

abortion provider testimony

Recently a colleague announced the following at a press conference.  This portion of her speech addressed the stigma of abortion.

Lu

In the United States since the Roe v. Wade decision in 1973 there have been over 45 million women who have chosen to have safe, legal abortions. In fact, 37% of American women, over 1 in 3 women, will have an abortion by the age of 45.

Abortion IS mainstream medicine.

Abortion IS a normal part of women’s health care.

So, why is stigma so successful? Why does the shame persist and silence pervade in our culture when so many people share the abortion experience?

Most of the time these 45 million women are silent.

Most of the time the loved ones who helped them with their abortion don’t talk about it either.

In fact, the pro-choice majority is silent.

Most of the people talking about abortion in our society are anti-abortion.

We abortion providers often feel and are looked at as the “radical fringe of the pro-choice movement”

However the reality is that without us there is no choice. We ARE the Common Ground. We give the choice. Without providers, the right to abortion is just an idea – it is just something on paper that means nothing to women in actuality.  
 

What does it take to keep 45 million women and their loved ones silent? You have to spend millions of dollars to shame them – to tell them they are murderers over and over until they believe it themselves. And you must threaten and intimidate and ultimately murder those who provide them this care. For over 35 years abortion providers have been the buffer between the anti-abortion movement and the women who have abortions. We have tried to protect women and shield them from the hostility of the antis. We need these women to speak up. There are not enough of us providers to protect this freedom for women.  

To me, irradicating stigma is the single most important thing we can do for abortion rights in this country. Even now, in this room, at this moment each of YOU is looking at me – the abortion provider from Texas – through your own lens of stigma about abortion. Maybe I am “less than” or “more than” you thought “an abortion provider would be like”.  

When I talk about my work people are often pretty quiet. Eventually, when they feel comfortable enough with me I am often asked, “so, why abortion care?” or “how can you do this work?” Even by supporters, by pro-choice people I see this question on their face or experience the silence or separation when I talk about providing abortions.  

I EXPEREINCE stigma all the time in my work; the hospital will not give privileges to our physicians, we can’t secure local back up doctors, we can’t get anyone to provide us with bottled water or replace our tile floors or replace our roof or resurface our parking lot. 

I HEAR stigma everywhere:

“Abortion should be rare”

“Abortion is a tragedy”     (and these are our friends!)

“Prevention First”

“I am pro-choice but I’d never have an abortion”

“I am not like those other women”

“I don’t believe in abortion as birth control” 

You may have heard these statements

You may have said these words yourselves

You may have thought these thoughts 

It is my life’s work to end the stigma around abortion. To that end, let me take my final moments with you to answer that ultimate question – Why abortion? Why do you do this work? I invite you, in turn, to speak out about abortion. Tell your own personal abortion story, or talk about how access to abortion changed the life of a woman you know and love.

 

For me, abortion care is a calling.

Abortion involves all the big things in life – sex, death, religion, family. Providing abortion gives me the opportunity to have heart-to-heart conversations about these things – about what really matters – every single day. I get to sit with a woman as she examines what she believes – as she looks at what matters most to her. What are her intentions? What are her dreams? Abortion is a kind of right of passage for many women – it is often one of the first times where women take a look at the values that they have inherited from family/church/culture/education and decide which ones are applicable or meaningful to them and which ones are not. 

Making an abortion decision is a time when a woman acts with intention. When she chooses a path for her life and the direction she will travel. I want to NOTICE that moment of acting with intention and hold it up high for the woman to notice and to feel and own as hers. I invite her to experience her life as though she were in charge of it. There are many times in a woman’s life where “life happens to them” and abortion stands out as a time when I can support a woman to be the actor in her own life – the chooser – not a victim but an intentional, deliberate and ethical person choosing what is best for them. 

Sitting with a woman as she examines her abortion decision provides ME with an opportunity to plant seeds that will change the world. I can invite a woman to look at her life differently than she may have before she came to my clinic. I have a moment to affirm that she is good, to affirm that she is moral and kind, and to affirm that she is not selfish. I can witness her dreams and her desires and affirm that she is put on this Earth to see them out and to act on her own gifts, not just to receive the lot that has been dealt to her. I have an opportunity to shine some light on her situation and turn on a light bulb or two in her thinking – especially about what is possible, what she is capable of, etc.  

The opportunity to invite women to accept themselves and to live out their dreams is a byproduct of abortion care to some people, but to me it IS abortion care. I can make a contribution that matters - I can truly change the world one woman at a time, simply by sitting next to a woman, listening to her story, witnessing her experience and gently nudging her to be all that she can be.  

This changes the world.

For the better.

And this is why I provide abortions.

Listening to the Heart of a Woman

As an abortion provider, I have often felt as Peg Johnston, below, feels.  That is, that the words of the 45 million who have had an abortion are crowded out by the "two sides" arguing back and forth.  But since the murder of Dr Tiller, more women are speaking out.  Many women have told their stories on the website, drtiller.com. Clinic workers, aligning themselves with our slain hero, have created a website, iamdrtiller.com.  Only by women and their partners and families speaking about their own abortions will the dialogue be genuine.  Only then will more Americans come to understand what is truly in the hearts of the women who chose abortion.  Thank you, Peg, for once again writing so eloquently, giving clarity to the issue and encouraging more women to speak up and let their voices be heard too.
Lu

Listening to the Heart of a Woman

By Peg Johnston

July 13, 2009 - 7:00am

Published under: Common Ground | Women’s Rights

If the proverbial Martians were to come to Earth, and specifically to the United States, they would naturally be interested in the dominant conflicts on the planet as the best way to learn about us. When they got to the abortion conflict, they would be perplexed that the most impassioned partisans were not those who personally decided to have or not have an abortion. And there’s a lot to learn about that observation.

What is missing in the abortion debate, including the Common Ground discussion, are the women themselves who have had abortions, or for that matter, who decided to parent or make an adoption plan.  You would expect that patients who identified as pro choice would choose abortion as needed without a lot of conflict. You would think that those women who were against abortion wouldn’t have one. You would be wrong on both counts.

When you sit with women on a daily basis as I, and most abortion care workers, do, you will soon learn that “until you understand the heart of a woman, nothing about abortion makes any sense at all.” Dr. George Tiller taught us that mantra, which is why he was so beloved by our community. A day or two listening to women talk about their decisions will make everything about the public abortion debate seem completely irrelevant.

Take Catherine (not her real name) who wrote on her chart last week: “Yes (it was a difficult decision) because it is wrong.” You might think Catherine was in the wrong place, but what I heard when I listened closely was a complex, thoughtful decision that considered her family and the needs of each of her kids, the financial prospects for her and her husband, and how she might feel about her choice later on, just for starters. I was so impressed with her process that progressed from a simplistic worldview of right/wrong to a more nuanced, ‘what’s right for me and my family?’ I also witnessed her courage in facing down the long held, but unexamined beliefs she had learned from her family. Still, she would not talk to them about her decision, physically recoiling at just the thought of it.

In this she is not alone. “What does it take to silence 45 million women?” many of us have asked. We know that the 30+ year campaign to stigmatize abortion is working remarkably well. It’s what keeps a woman from talking to her best friend, her husband, her doctor, or her minister. It doesn’t change people’s minds; rather, it’s how they are silenced. So, no wonder no one gets to really understand why more than1 million women every year choose to terminate their pregnancies! Imagine if there was only one story about divorce—instead of knowing women who were relieved to move on, traumatized for a long time, or should have gotten a divorce earlier, we only hear about the adulterer.

The problem is that only a few of us hear these incredible stories of people’s real lives. Aside from the mental health implications of stigmatizing a life event that 45 million people share, the silencing of the abortion experience has distorted the debate. Recently conservative blogger Andrew Sullivan acknowledged that women’s stories, written as comments on Dr. Tiller’s murder, changed how he viewed the issue. “Some of these situations are really tragic,” he said. “Duh,” we said in unison.

Even more tragically, there are very few opportunities to hear, really hear, women’s experiences of abortion, or indeed, their experience of unintended pregnancy and decision-making. Abortion care workers (and I include those who help women at abortion funds, family planning clinics, talklines etc) are like priests in a confessional. The public can sometimes listen into the stories they hear at blogs like abortionclinicdays.com or the abortioneers, but there are not many opportunities to hear more than partisan sound bites. A pregnancy decision is so rich with multiple layers of feeling, concerns, and ethics that it is a shame that the public can’t access them. A discourse that embodied these experiences would completely change the abortion debate and would significantly help women who are isolated in their decision-making.

Imagine if women were invited to use existing online public engagement technology so that our deeply conflicted society can try to understand the “heart of a woman.” So that this doesn’t turn into which side can log in faster to a FOX poll, the process would be designed to tease out the most complete story. A scientifically designed survey would invite women who have had an abortion to answer questions as well as to contribute a narrative about the significance of the abortion decision or experience in their lives. These questions would encourage reflection on various aspects of the abortion decision, such as the needs of children, her or her partner’s readiness for parenting, her concerns about the impact of a child on her relationship with partner or family, financial issues, educational goals, religious or spiritual beliefs, support, or lack thereof, for the woman’s moral agency, and societal attitudes toward various pregnancy outcomes (abortion, adoption, single parenthood, etc.)  

A content analysis would identify important themes. This qualitative approach is not a battle of numbers but will allow everyone to understand the range of factors in the decision making process as well as barriers to each option a woman considers. Instead of opinions we will be soliciting experiences.

Those who are making policy about funding, state mandated waiting periods, and other restrictions might just gain perspective from women themselves about what was helpful and what might have been more useful to them in their decision-making. For instance, what kinds of support would have contributed to their emotional health? What information would have been helpful? Were state and federal laws a help or a hindrance? What presentation of risk factors most often leads to negative mental health outcomes? What is the impact of the societal stigma placed on abortion in terms of healthy outcomes? What are the special needs of young women, those experiencing domestic violence, or those with other identified risk factors such as prior emotional conditions?

Just as any visiting Martian can tell you, the solution to the conflict does not come from the partisans on either side. It comes from the truths of the people who are living with the consequences of public policy. When women’s experiences, not just bumper sticker slogans, are part of the debate then—and only then-- will common ground make any sense at all.

This piece first appeared on RHRealityCheck.org

Women of the World

I just saw this posted online.  I do not know the author but I wanted to share it.   Don't know why some lines printed in black and some in blue.

Lu

Women of the World Vs. Ernie

 

1.

This is what I know about being a woman:

My body is coursing with estrogen,

I have a uterus.  My breasts fit nicely into bras

that shapes them into fashionable

things that men like to look at.

Once a month, my uterus lets go

of its contents and I bleed

for a few days.

 

2.

I am not immune to the stigma of the whole

thing.  I read Cosmo and think:

this is what I am supposed to look like.

this is who I am.

this is what I am supposed to buy.

this is what I am supposed to eat.

It goes on like this all the time.

I buy, I eat, I apply lipstick.

 

3.

The single man outside the abortion

clinic stands there with his sign.

He thinks he will change some minds today

because he has god and patriarchy

and a picture of a bloody fetus,

the force of his own stupid ego

on his side.

 

4.

Some of the women I know have abortions.

Real abortions, not the ones on the signs.

The kind that keep them up nights

going over it over and again.

We are all powerful

 and sometimes subjugated.

 

 

5.

They are my sister.

my best friend.

my next door neighbor.

The lady in line behind me

me at the grocery store-

we are in the express lane,

 she has 26 items.

the check-out girl, too--

she is pissed .

myself.

Me.

 

 

6.

He says it so clearly,

You need to be ashamed.

,

of it weakness,

of yourself,

of your woman-ness.

Keep this secret,

keep your mouth shut

And your legs closed.

 

7.

I no longer care what his real name is—

I will call him misogyny.

Does he speak to his mother

with that mouth?

In my dreams she is washing out

his mouth with soap.

 

8.

This is what I want misogyny

with his sign to know: 

I want what I want.  I need what I need.

This body is a gift from that same god.

He gave it to me because he knew

I could be trusted.

He said to me in a prayer:

You know what to do, and when.

Written by Bridget.

Kansas stories

The early media messaging about Dr. Tiller seems determined to paint him as "that polarizing, controversial abortion doctor," nothing more. I did not have the honor of meeting Dr. Tiller, but I greatly admired his clinic. In all the conversations I've had with colleagues and staff, everyone keeps coming back to Dr. Tiller's kindness, his generosity and spirituality. They recalled hearing him talk about really listening to women's stories, about the importance of ritual for families who are grieving.

In honor of his life, let's not reduce his career or women's stories to caricature. One site which allows patients to share their complex experiences is Kansas Stories. These stories primarily focus on situations of fetal anamoly. These are average women. Dr. Tiller could have been your sister's doctor. Your wife's doctor. These are not "culture warriors," this is your math teacher, your girl scout leader, your best friend. 

As one woman writes: The reality is that abortion in the late second and third trimesters is extremely rare. The reality is that finding a doctor to do this procedure in the late second or third trimester is almost impossible. For me, the reality was that at the most painful time of my life I had to travel out of state, stay in a hotel room and face hostile protesters in order to carry out this most personal of choices.

-Nell